12:01 realize time stop drawing piece together wnd of day

12:03 put fitbit to charge and get up put on slippers go out to bathroom clange slippers sit down pee

12:04 keep typing

12:22 finish typing. move past midnight to a new note

12:23 get up wipe flush wash hand brush teeth

12:25 wash face and take off mascara. dry face with towel

12:26 floss

12:27 finish and put on retainer. take off sweatshirt and shirt and put on testosterone. my belly scares me. fat. shouldn’t have eaten dinner.

12:30 finish wash hands. change slippers go to room

12:32 enter room take off slippers go put on face oil. change out of clothes into pajama shorts and hang up sweatshirt and put away pants

12:33 drink water then put on slippers go outside get water back inside take off slippers take my methylfolate, vitamin d, risperal, lamictal

12:34 move aside my laptop and organize my ipad and everything off my desk

12:36 scratch my butt get in bed

12:41 finish typing down. so tired. gonna geab fitbit

12:42 get fitbit put it on. check the app.

12:43 exit app. my battery is full again woooooo. check obey me

12:59 catch up on obey me. make it to the end of lesson 28 hard. im twenty chapters behind in the original story. my teams just arent strong enough yet. im trying to level up all my urs and build a solid base for each color but it takes forever

1:00 set alarms sleep gnite

8:10 good morning ! i stay in bed and check instagram

8:16 i learn that colton came out as gay this morning and i text my mom about it. she’s so supportive and says that people should accept others and I’m glad but it’s hard reading it because she wasn’t that supportive of me when I came out as trans.

8:17 i check obey me briefly

8:20 i get out of bed and go put on slippers walk to the bathroom. i pass by mimi eating at the kitchen table and i say good morning. i enter the bathroom sit down pee

8:21 i get up wipe flush wash hands take off retainer ( forgot to mention that i put it on last night i think ) brush teeth

8:23 i finish and wash my face.

8:24 i check the time and then walk out of the bathroom change slippers pass by mimi again go to room change slippers

8:35 put on my face oil and put on new underwear and pants

8:27 i go and fill out my check in form in front of my desk

8:30 wait for group to start

8:35 i still haven’t been let in so i email megan

8:36 she emails back that she will check in on what’s going on

8:38 check in finally starts

8:39 i email megan to let her know that I am in

8:47 finish group

8:52 finish typing out morning wanted to mention that i did have a vivid dream but don’t have the words for it


check in:


for homework last night i drew on ipad, made and ate dinner and washed my dishes, and applied for internships

ideas today are to finish trials, keep eating from dishes, and apply for more internships

depression 1 ln 0 avoidance 2 ln 3

rumination 1 ln 2

self harm 0 ln 0

homicidal thoughts 0 ln 0

eater dinner yes

brush teeth yes

shower no last time sunday

breakfast no but yesterday i did

hours slept 7hr

suicidal ideation 0 ln 1

anxiety 0 ln 1


8:54 i finish checking in and check my daily assignment list to see the new exposures

8:58 i check instagram but nothing exciting. gonna start doing exposures and make toast while i work. first meeting is at 10 again


8:39 walk outside put on slippers take water glass with me put bread in toaster get water

9:00 check list one more time.

9:01 microwave

9:05 finish 5 4 3. close window close oven mitt drawer. seven urges. i get cream cheese from fridge now that bread is done

9:06 wendy comes out of her room and i say good morning. she gets her plain bread from her fridge and i take mine out of the toaster. a slice of bread falls to the ground and she says five seconds rule and picks it up.

9:07 ahe goes back to her room. i’ve put cream cheese on my bread and am eating it

9:08 timer goes off keep eating bread

9:09 wendy’s toast is done. she comes out and gets it and puts it on a plate. she takes it to the kitchen table and takes a small bite but goes back to her room briefly

9:11 finish eating put bread and cream cheese away. type

9:12 ok. cant avoud. trash can lid

9:16 finish. 4 4 4 eight urges one more. that was terrible. one more urge. i want to sanitize so bad i domt want to touch anything else

9:17 wendy comes back out and we talk abt colton being gay. she hadn’t heard yet

9:18 i check insta but get a notif that my ap is full and so i switch to obey me

9:20 i finish the battle and stand up to go to sink. wendy sat down at the table to eat is reading quotes from the interview. i want to cry hearing his worss

9:21 augustina texts me. sink tome

9:24 finish 5 4 4. four urges two more. mimi comes out and goes to her painting station. wendy finishes and gets up and goes to her room. she comes back out with her water bottle and fills it up the fills up the brita in the sink and purs it back in my fridge. she asks me what mitochondria is and i say it’s part of the cell

9:27 i check texts augustina tells me congrats for finishing my thesis ans apologizes for not texting back and i tell her to please not worry !!! mimi is opening up her new canvas and asks me id i know when wendy’s scene is for class and i say maybe 10:30

9:28 in bathroom dont change slippers shower

9:32 finish 6 5 5. six urges to sanitize my feet feel like they r Burnin

9:34 mimi texts asking if i want the house to venmo me for printer ink n i say not yet wait til i buy black. i check messages n augustina says thank u for wishing that she had a good technology vacation. shes too nice. i venmo mimi back for shake shack from star wars

9:35 four urges. dryer time put on slippers laundry room

9:39 finish 5 4 3. eight urges but three were wfter i finished so five during

9:42 mimi asks if i can use the printer i say yes of course. i text griffin on insta abt the show. we r both hyped. dryer

9:46 finisb 5 4 3. eight urges but three after. gonna wash hands put in contacfs

9:49 put in contacts shower

9:53 finish 6 5. text mimi abt the ecotank. six urges. one more every time i look wt shower i get one so im trying nkt to look rn

9:54 put on slippers look three urges. stop clock early to do one more exposure before megan

9:55 sink

9:58 finish. 5 4 3 four urges. go to room take off slippers tweeze eyebrows check oney me

10:00 join meeting with megan

10:06 leave meeting three urges. she is proud of my progress !

10:08 finish tweezing my eyebrows. at 10:10 ill get started again. gonna start my makeup for now

10:11 put on foundation. i love this foundation it makes my skin look Amazing. gonna go out n do more epxosures now.


10:14 go put on slippers go to kitchen catch up on obey me trash

10:18 finish 5 4 3. mimi is on the grey couch typing on her laptop wnd im seated at the kitchen table. eight urges. i want something chocolate so bad

10:21 text cam abt hanging out tonight text nat on insta abt colton. microwave

10:25 finish 4 3 3 three urges during two after five total. i consider emqiling wbt not being wble to attend awards ceremony but i stop myself. i check install schedule. if i have two hours i should be ok and i can also probably zoom from the church

10:31 microwave again

10:34 finish 4 3 2 three urges. got distracted thinkin abt the whole colton thing. holding him accountable for his actions with cassie and celebrating that he came out can both coexist and idk why people dont get that

10:39 dryer

10:42 finish 3 2 1 two urges one more.

10:45 text ace and kon abt scene kid komaeda. sam comes out from his room and goes to the bathroom and brings out my glasses. time for microwave

10:49 finish 3 2 2 two urges one more. augustina tected again

10:52 texting her abt homestuck. sam starts his shower. trash can time

10:55 finish 5 4 2. three urges one more. texting augustina abt more homestuck. i did go look at mimi’s painting setup for her final. so hyped abt it it’s gonna be Insane. i want it to be camp

10:56 i crack my neck. my jaw hurts. go on instagream

10:58 sink

11:02 finish 4 3 3 four urges. usps came and dropped off a package for wendy. mimi comes out of her room with laptop snd coffee and nods hello at me

11:18 been looking up areas in griffith park. gonna do shower at 11:20. text justine abt park and augustina abt homestuck

11:24 i go to my room snd update exposures.

11:25 mimi is explaining her painting outside and sam and i are texting abt it

11:26 ok update exposures

2 sink 2 trash can 3 dryer 1 microwave 3 shower floor. 11 total i can do this. been going slow today but im just gonna go thru lunch

11:27 out in kitchen didnt take off slippers in room go to bathroom change slippers

11:28 shower

11:31 finish 6 4. three urges. put on indoor slippers go to room take off look at what shoes i own

11:32 i have my nice black shoes i will wear those. i sit on my floor and check insta

11:34 get up shower again put on slippers walk to bathroom

11:38 finish 6.5 5.5. eight urges. post meme to mentos that has faggot in it i hope its not taken down

11:41 dryer. someone locked the laundry room door for some rzn. maybe sam when he showered. two urges from putting my indoor slippers back on

11:44 finish 3 3 2. three urges. got distracted thinking abt website

11:47 go outside . the hem of my pant is wet three urges in a row

11:48 microwave time

11:51 finish 3 2 1 four urges. one more then going to update exposures n join group

11:54 was on insta. one more trash can

11:57 finish 5 5 4. six urges. im in my room. feet so cold. got a weird email

11:58 google the name sandra casey but don’t get anything good. so cold. gonna update exposures

12:01 update now 2 sink 1 trash can 2 dryer 1 shower. 6 left

12:57 end group. we play jeapordy and my team gets second place !

12:58 i dab a teeny bit more foundation on my eye bags and around my nose. excited to do my makeup in between exposures after this so i can look hot for checkout group

12:59 i grab my concealer n do gentle pats over some acne scars

1:00 i join meeting

1:14 leave meeting. fuck it im gonna do my makeup and then exposures. i need a break

1:16 i put concealer on my eyelids and email megan abt installing my thesis on friday because i forgot to mention it

1:17 i bring my makeup stuff over to my light

1:57 i finish my makeup. i look so good. i go back to my laptop and fill out my check out form

1:58 track ban

2:01 join group

2:09 finish gonna put on my highlighter then im done wiht makeup


2:24 i took selfies and went on instagram. cfame back and did inner eye eyeliner. its done done i think. im gonna repaint my nails quickly

2:35 i take off my polish and do my base coat. i spill nail posih remove and i freak out a little bit

2:47 finish both hands. i am a king when it comes to simple nails. no errors either hand. i am a genius



2:49 i walk outside mt room to finish exposures. nails r still wet but im jusy lightly touching things so irs ok. milner is with mimi at the kitchen table and they kiss her head n leave. mimi is on her laptop and frustrated

2:51 sink

2:54 finish 5 4 3. only three urges and two once i finished so onlt one during

2:55 went to my fridge got water went to room took risperdal

2:56 came out emailed megan back. it should be ok for me to go install my show and make it thru the day for 4 hrs.

2:59 trash can

3:02 finish 432. three urges. i go check mail in the entryway cuz they just shoved a bunch in the slat. nothing just spam

3:03 cross the bathroom dont change slippers dryer time

3:07 finish 3 2 1. one urge when i finished.

3:08 google directions to bird sanctuary. will take a half hour. three exposures to go

3:10 shower

3:13 finish 5 3. three urges but mainlt once i finished timer. on instagram

3:15 i send teryn a post abt chadgoesdeep making an nft and she is very excited. gonna do dryer in a sec. put back on slippers didnt put them on after habituation right away

3:19 i finishe 3 2 1. one urge. i close dryer lid and come outside. i ask if mimi turned on the heater ( shes at the table still ) and she says yes and i smile. she says come over and i do and she shows me her website. it looks epic

3:21 sink

3:24 finish 4 3 3

3:25 do i make these grad photos if i dont have all my medallions ? i guess not. i need to think of a new outfit. i dont know what tje pjotoshoot is for anymore

3:45 i finish getting dressed i decided on a dark outfit cuz why not. i get in my car

3:50~ omw

4:26 i take several wrong turns to avoid a left turn but get at the wrong parking lot. i walk the wrong way til i google where im at and realize im 1/3 mile away. i start walking

4:30 justine texts me that she’s at the sign. i say im omw and walking over

4:50~ i arrive. we talk and walk around the sanctuary area and take photos

5:43 i get back to my car and text cam that im on my way. i decide to drive straight down vermont

6:22 i arrive and text cam. dhe comes n gets me

6:25~ can comes our and lets me in

7:14 we start watching girlfriends. drinking wine

7:15 i go take off my binder in her bathroom

7:16 i come back and we watch girlfriends

8:01 we pause to eat pad thai. i go to her bathroom

8:02 i sit down and pee. i check instagram. sam sent me something abt an alex da corte installation at the met

8:03 i come out. i try the pad thai and i say its good. it is !!!

8:05 we sit down and resume girlfriends

9:07 i head out

9:10 i start driving

9:13 i arrive back and head inside change from shoes to slippers. my feet r killing me from the hike today

9:14 i text cam tjat im back safe. i go to my room take off slippers. there’s a package for me. it’s shoes probably. EXCITED

9:25 i try them on. theyre both so good. the tall ones r a lil tight on the calf but its ok i think. ill see if i can return cuz they were on sale and if not its no biggie

9:31 i tore the tag so i cant return it im so sad. whatever i wouldve just gotten store credit anyways not my money back

9:35~ i go outside put on slipperand ask if mimi has seen another package. she’s at the kitchen table. i open the front door and find it. i go back to my room take off slipper and try it out. it doesn’t work

9:42 i file a refund claim for amazon for a defective product. i get my money back.

9:48 i walk outside put on slippers and complain a lil. mimi says that sucks

9:49 i go into my bathroom dont change slippers sit down pee

9:53 i stand up wipe flush wash hands

9:54 i take out my contacts and walk outside. i go to feed my sourdough starter

9:55 wendy comes out. i squint at her real hard cuz i dont have my glasses on. her hair looks beautiful ! i finish feeding and put away the flour

9:56 i go to my room get my glasses come back out. i ask if i should make nuggets she says yes

9:57 i start the process of making chicken nuggets. i’m already almost out i need to get more or i need to not get them to force me to cook

10:00 i wash my breakfast dish and the spoon and chopstick from feeding my starter ( to scoop flour and water and stir in the jar )

10:03 i check my messages. wendy sent the itinerary for her bday weekend. i comment on it out loud.

10:04 i start typing. i check insta and respond to ace and kon abt danganronpa

10:24 i start eating

10:27 wendy starts facetiming nar. birthday facetime cuz its already midnight for nat

10:31 i get up make more nuggets

10:34 i sit back down flr nat’s facetkme

10:40 we hang up. mimi snd sam came out to join us

10:42 i my nuggets r done n i go to get them. wendy is cutting watermelon at the counter and sam is cutting up meats next to her. km so tkred

10:47 i finish i say im hungry still i get up go to room get water glass go to fridge get milk. it helps to tip me over snd make me feel full. im so hungry still idk why.

10:54 i was on insta im so tired idk why. maybe cuz i walked today ????? i posted to mentos i got up and threw away trash

10:55 i walked over two and a half miles today. no wonder im tired and hungry.

10:56 wash plate put in dishwasher take foil out of toaster oven throw away urge

10:57 gonna put on testosterone take meds and sleep


11:00 go get meds take lamictal risperdal methylfolate and vitamin d. just feels like a lot cuz i take three pills for my risperdal dose rn but it’s not much.

11:02 finish get in bed. go to mail check hw

11:03 i did everything but shower

11:04 text ace and kon abt danganronpa on insta then go to messages. text Julián abt how im doing. he hasn’t caught up with me abt it since the effexor was bad so im giving him updates. open obey me

11:32 catch up on obey me. took a while. setting alarm gnitr