12:59 i change clothes and put away my laundry./ in room took off slipper

1:02 finish laundry turn off lights on bed now gonna update exposures

1:04 finish updating exposures. i had one more left to do for sink but i just duplicated hte last number im too tired to do it again so im lying lmao im so tired. gonna go back to phone but get fitbit first



1:06 fitbit on i. bed gonna catch up obey me

1:14 catch up might masturbate idk gnite

8:00 wake up. had dream but woke up so abruptly don’t remember.

8:03 check obey me

8:16 go to bathroom. put on slippers dont change slippers when there

8:17 #1 and 2. the spicy tofu is getting to me.

8:19 check insta. get up wipe flush wash hands

8:20 wash face brush teeh

8:22 finish wipe down sink n flush toilet paper. i exit say hi to mimi at kitchen table as she eats

8:29 get on laptop fill out form

8:30 join group

8:44 leav e group. have to text rex and my brother back


8:23 back in room take off slippers put on face oil

8:24 make bed

8:25 sit at desk. so tired

8:29 finish typing down morning check in form time

8:30 fill out check in form do group. forgot to write it down for yesterday will do that too after this. or at least ill just take the loss and write down my check out !!! so tired

8:46 leave. christian reminds me of an odd combo of pete davidson and joe pera, leaning more towards joe pera in personality. he seems like such a good guy.

8:47 plug in laptop to charge check in:

last night i finished my exposures and did some BA’s. my enjoyable BA was working on a puzzle with my roommate !

idea today are to finish trials, complete studio visits, do more laundry

depression 0 ln 1

avoidance 2 ln 1

rumination 1 ln 2

self harm 0 ln 0

homicidal thoughts 0 ln 0

eat dinner yes

brush teeth yes

shower no last time sunday

breakfast no last time yesterday

slept 5hr

suicidal ideation 0 ln 0

anxiety 0 ln 3

8:49 gonna write down check out for yesterday now

8:54 finish writing down check ins and outs for yesterday. gonna go make myself some yogurt and start exposures amybe



8:55 i check insta get up

8:56 put on slippers go outside. mimi no longer yhere. im not hungry so im just gonna do exposures n drink water.

8:57 trash can   i sit down to habituate on the grey couch and wrap a blanket around me

8:59 i see wendy walk down the hall and enter the room

9:00 finish 1 1 0. one urge at the end.

9:01 i get up go to room take off slippers. i put on sweatpants and a sweatshirt over my pjs and grab my water glass and head out. i take my morning risperdal

9:02 i stand in the kitchen and sip my water

9:03 sink

9:04 i sit at table. i exclaim out loud when i realize i can make a bean and cheese burrito for lunch

9:06 wendys flowers had no water so i filled them up at the sink. urge. finish 3 2 2.

9:09 get three new pieces in the puzzle. microwave time. mimi comes out to paint

9:13 finish 3 1 .5 one urge. hands tingle a lil but not bad back to puzzlw

9:16 four new pieces. working on the pizza part. get up go to bathroom shower

9:21 finish 4.5 3. start writing down calendar times for visits. join meeting

9:29 end meeting. we might adjust exposures after today since my numbers are lower. she asks abt my talk and i tell her abt it and we talk abt how im more well rested today than i was yesterday even with only five hours

9:30 my stomach grumbles. i want to buy flowers for my room but i get no light in here

9:32 post memes to mentos. at 9:35 ill start again. vibing sitting down. gonna go to kitchen

9:34 i respond to sam’s story post and say crystals are for fags ( im right ). also respond to elisa saying yes please send me photos of hamsters. go to kitchen put on slippers. mimi still painting. go to laundry room dryer

9:39 finish 2.5 3 1. four urges. back in living room puzzle time

9:42 got three new pieces. trash can

9:45 finish 1 0 1. mimi laughs at something. i work on the puzzle more. two new pieces

9:48 i get more puzzle done. wendy comes out n comments on the puzzle. i go to the sink. she grabs some of the cardboard boxes i left for her and says to leave more boxes for her

9:49 sink

9:52 finish 2 3 2. two urge when done. i sat down at kitchen table to habituate and wendy came over and asked the times for my thesis opening. i tell her wnd she says she can come to the latter half. i am excited. she goes back into her room

9:55 organizing pieces by shape now. microwave time

9:59 finish 2 1 0. got more water n checked on my ramen egg. smells so good. get blackboard notif that class is cancelled for psych. extra nice. gonna email back tom

10:01 email back tom and say that 4 or 5pm is when i can meet

10:02 wendy comes out and uses the printer. ive been organizing puzzle pieces i get up walj to bathroom

10:03 shower

10:04 i stand and lean against doorframe. i thought i heard sam but it was wendy bringing out a table to the entryway. she wipes it down. mimi is at the counter doing something

10:05 mimi walks back to her painting corner. i think wendy is cleaning the table after we used it outside for her party

10:06 finish 3 2. much calmer. go and keep organizing pieces

10:09 finish organizing and it goes much faster now. go to bathroom dryer

10:13 2 1 0. change alarm sound to be less annoying. back to puzzle

10:15 trash can

10:19 finish 0 1 0. two urges but they’re insignificant

10:21 sink

10:25 1 0 2. email tom back and say i can make 1:20 work if we have to. three urges but barely

10:28 rlly killing it on this puzzle. showing wendy how much ive done on pizza. mimi is talking to karen on her zoom. microwave

10:32 finish 0 0 1. mimi talking abt her painting. i love it. wendy went back to her room. gonna take a break from puzzle for a sec. check insta

10:35 shower time. was responding to comments on mentos

10:38 finish 3 2. go to text sam. he responded abt the pic i sent where i screenshotted the rbg girlboss painting behind one of the new people in group. he made fun of me cuz i said RGB not RBG

10:41 i play ace in word hunt. time to do dryer. wendy came to the bathroom asked if anyone was doing laundry i say go ahead. we briefly talk abt how we love mimis painting

10:45 finish 2 1 0. wendys using the washing machine not dryer so thats how i keep doing it. gonna play back ace some more

10:49 finish playing back ace in the word games

10:50 trash can

10:53 finish 0 1 0. doing puzzle. mimi tells me karen just confessed to having daddy issues

10:56 so close to being done with pizza sink time

11:00 1 0 0. im having a really good day !

11:01 screenrecord meme for mentos. marisol sent me a cute pic of a cat i respond excitedly. sam comes out of his room says good morning then goes to shower

11:03 microwave time

11:06 1 0 0. i didnt notice it at all tbh. the door opens in the hall and i think it’s wendy ? can’t see. i hear sam start his shower

11:07 i get up n turn n see wendy entering her room. she gives me a smile

11:09 my side is itching so bad. the tattoo side. i cant take off saniderm tho. wendy enters the kitchen and goes to her fridge and comes out with a loaf of bread

11:10 trash can

11:13 3 1 0. no urges

11:16 been working on puzzle. wendy washing dish at sink. ill do microwave

11:20 finish 2 0 0. back at puzzle. sam exits bathroom asks how puzzle is going i say its going well. wendy is no longer washing dishes but is now cooking at kitchen

11:23 so close to being done with pizza. wendy is excited to join me. sam tells us he only have five pages left to edit on his thesis and then he sends it in !!! we r so excited. he’s gonna smoke week so he has one more time being high in class before school ends

11:24 wendy is poaching an egg and i alrt her cuz the water is abt to boil over

11:25 sink

11:26 i watch wendy mash up an avocado at the counter. maybe i should buy some so i can make avocado toast in the mornings

11:28 4 3 3. touched water drop and got water on my face. ok gonna make lunch now. wendy is inspiring me

11:38 make mushroom scramble n put it on toast with spring mix. i sit by wendy at the table. she cleaned up n is now eating her avocado toast and brussel sprouts

11:39 she finishes and gets uo and cleans up

11:42 i finish get up to put stuff away. mimi comes over to the sink and starts washing her brushes so i cant do anything yet. wendy cuts up watermelon and takes it to her room

11:46 gonna do exposures while waiting for mimi. shower

11:50 5 2. wash dishes now mimi is done

11:54 finish dishes three urges

11:55 mimi walks back in with her laptop asks if i like rose royce. i think she says prince royce but then she says rose did car wash. i say yes i like. i get water go to my room with my glass take off slippers

11:56 i turn on my light sanitize sit down at desk. gonna update exposures

11:57 email tom back. i have ti get out of program early today now

12:00 join group

12:11 we r talking abt anime in the group chat. christian notices the jojo poster behind me n i try not to laugh on camera. i wanna talk to him abt anime now cuz he said his fave was death note. sal also liked death note a lot. we are all weebs here.


12:53 milner accomodates my symptoms by making me dinner sometimes. they just have to not do that or we can cook together, or eat it as a group rather than it just being for me

cam cooks for me when i come over so im gonna cook for her now that im doing better !

mama washes my dishes at home i will wash them myself, i usually do, or i help clean the kitchen since we all have our own chores

not really sure because a lot of symptom accommodations i refuse because i know it will spiral out of control if i say yes

calling ace and kon to hang out isn’t symptom accommodation because i’m not using it as reassurance, i’m using it as an enjoyable BA at least I think i am. its better for me to no isolate i think so I think hanging out with my friends is fine and shouldn’t be viewed as an issue.

jean gave me an extension on my project but i ended up dropping her class so idk


unrelated but i need to ask spencer how long their creative cloud subscription lasted once they graduated


1:00 leave group gonna join meeting with megan. begging that she will let me leave a bit early

1:13 leave meeting. megan said yes to me leaving early ! gonna set up zoom now for tom

1:14 send link to tom

1:22 leave meeting. looks like i didnt have to leave early but im just gonna get my exposures done now since i have the time anyways


1:32 was on insta put on slippers but came back to laptop to checj exposures. 1 shower floor two dryer left

1:33 walk to bathroom cant do dryer cuz wendy is using it. gonna do shower instead

1:37 finish 5 3. pee and wash hands

1:38 back in room gonna do light makeup like my eyeliner

1:46 finish makeup just did eyeliner and some red under my eyes. texted mike my eta.

1:49 plug in phone gonna get dressed coordinating carpools with jackie for tmrw

2:02 get dressed in car have everything On my way!  laptop charger adapters sketchbook pencil eraser

2:38 arrive. put on mask gonna go and set up laptop

2:55 finish set up laptop gonna see if it works at 3:01 or if i did it wrong and its two minutes early but no one will know lmao.

2:56 check mail and see i have an interview request for skirball. nice ! i email jean my ohone number for when she arrives. i shouldve brought my phone charger im at 11% lmfao

6:00 back at home. talked with jean for two hours. so much fun. phone died before i left but i managed to get home with just intuition n memory !  take off shoes run to sam’s room. put phone to fharge in room first. eloise is there n i join the meeting

7:30 meeting end go back to room put laptop down at kitchen table on the way back. making memes. take off outside clothes put on sweatpants

7:32 go walk to bathroom but take laundry with me

7:33 start load of laundry. go bathroom sit down pee. text ace and kon abt watching riverdale tnite

7:38 was on insta get up wipe flush wash hands exit bathroom. go get leftover sourdough bread cut a slice

8:00 just ate a few toasted slices of bread with butter and jam. a relaxing snack. go to grey couch sit down start typing

8:03 pause typing to play obey me move to puzzle

8:14 catch up on obey me

8:41 FINISH PIZZA

8:43 text tio junior details abt the opening tmrw

8:44 sam comes out of his room n i show him the pizza. he says epic. he vents abt people being dumb. i agree

8:49 sam goes back to his room. i see how much delivery is for krispy kreme. too much

8:51 text ace and kon again abt some guy that was pestering ace today. wendy comes out to the kitchen and starts making avocado toast

8:55 put clothes in dryer. urge. wendy and i talk abt among us

8:56 sit down at table. yheres a pair of clean underwear we dont know who it belongs to. its not mine. i move it to the side. urge. wendy sits down by me and eats her dinner

9:53 made more memes and graphics for secret project

9:57 check insta. ace is setting up teleparty for riverdale. im wbt to fall asleep

10:18 start texting ace abt seeing my show

10:19 go get laundry take to room

10:20 go get water

10:21 back to room slipper off take meds lamictal risperdal methylfolate vitamin d

10:25 ace and i figure out saturday. they r gonna come after casey and paulson that day. i start folding and putting away my laundry

10:27 one of my shirts tore in the dryer. i had it for almost five years so its ok. theres a huge tear in the sleeve and one by the collar. i shouldnt have put it into the dryer but i wasnt thinking. luckily i got it for like five bucks i think

10:34 finish putting away clothes and trying to figure out outfit for tomorrow. i think i have a game plan

10:37 sit down on bed go on insta. im zoning out

10:58 post vid of my hair to priv

11:02 gonna sleep

11:04 get in bed. just saw ace texted link in discrid for teleparty. i text tht i fell asleep. it feels like i did

11:06 ace says its ok wnd goodnight. i delete my vid off my priv that showed i was awake. i post meme to mentos

11:07 ok goodnight gonna catcg up obey me first

11:24 caught up set alarms gnite