Rudy Falagán WEDNESDAY - MARCH 10
12:12 mimi heads off to shower. i sing the first verse and chorus of the fortnite song. sam laughs at me. i fart while laughing
12:13 augustina texts me that she’s heteroflexible. i text ace and joke that it means that she’s in love with me. ace sends me the side eyes emoji
12:14 i flesh out what happened in the past three hours. i had written notes but i wanted to play with mimi and i wasn’t writing while with ace and kon so i just kept it all in my memory. my memory is improving a lot thanks to this project
12:30 i finish fleshing out. ace and i joke about higurashi
12:33 i check instagram. i text augustina about maybe we hang out on friday since we both got busy and forgot today. i check my mail and jwest has sent us opportunities
12:35 i get up stand there for a minute grab my milk glass and gloves and take it to the sink and rinse it. i use the glove like a tissue and open the fridge then i grab water pour it in my glass close and go to my room. i sanitize my hands and take my risperdal and lamictal. i grab a makeup wipe and take it with me to the bathroom.
12:36 i go to the bathroom and change slippers and use the back of my wrist to close the door. the light is already on. i rub off my makeup and throw it into the trash. i wash my hands ten seconds no ritual and wash my face. i use toilet paper to lift the lid and i sit down and pee. i text ace that i think augustina told me she was heteroflexible because i posted on my story that i was a manic pixie boy looking for a heteroflexible baddie
12:37 i finish and i stand up and wipe and use my nonwipe hand to grab toilet paper and wipe down the seat. i toss it in and grab more toilet paper and flush and toss it in. i go wash my hands ten seconds no ritual. i brush my teeth
12:39 i finish and i rinse my mouth and quickly rinse off my hands and i grab my phone and exit the bathroom i change slippers and use my wrist to turn off the light
12:40 i go to my room grab the ramen trash and take it to the kitchen trash can and toss it. sam took out the trash thank you sam. i grab the chopsticks and run and wash them before my brain gets bad i put them in the drying rack and i run back to my room and sanitize my hands
12:41 i get in bed and check my messages. ace say i need to message augustina and ask. i panic and say no. ace says yes. they send me a text
12:44 i just fucking i send it ask her if she said she was heteroflexible because i said i wanted a heteroflexible baddie. if she says yes i can be happy if she says no i can brush it off and get over this middle school nonsense
12:45 wendy and sam are outside. sam is yelling that every internet personality is a performance artist. i text him in all caps that i agree. we talk about how people on the show catfish are performance artists and the fat ass kelly price episode. we also talk about the bow wow episode
12:50 i start typing everything down from the bathroom
onward
1:02 i finish. my thumb on my right hand is cramping. i wanted to play more sims but im gonna sleep. im gonna drop after effects in the morning i think. i can’t put that on my plate with therapy starting.
1:03 so stressed abt augustina
1:04 i check my mail but dont let it load. im just anxious. i can still taste ramen on my breath. i plug my phone in to charge i get under my covers and sanitize my hands
1:05 i catch up on obey me
1:08 i finish catching up on obey me and try and sleep
1:12 i check waze and it says 27min to get to mission gathering tomorrow. i set alarms for 10 and 11am. how tf am i gonna start waking up at 8:30am for therapy. i check instagram
1:14 i move midnight onward to a new note. i might masturbate will let you know in the morning. good night. stressed about augustina
7:25 i wake up. i check instagram. she didn’t respond yet but i figured
9:17 i wake up again. my head hurts and i have trouble falling back asleep
10:00 my alarm wakes me up i turn it off
11:00 my alarm wakes me up and i actually wake. my head feels better but not really. my dream is in bits and pieces but ill try and remember what i can. i was with dom and maybe cam and we were at this dimly lit store and there was a monitor with a touch screen that was slightly higher than me. im choosing things for bacons birthday. he likes bananas so i find a fishing game with a mini tiger fishing and one of the items he fishes is bananas. i also get another different tiger game for my brother. i want a set of plain balloons but they don’t have them. i but other things and check out but the total is $803 and i dont have enough. i see that the fishing game is $67 so i remove it and i had another gift for bacon but i dont remember. then i dont remember but then im in a big empty room with dom. she has a statue for bacon. i tell her to go put it in the pile because it needs to dry its made out of clay. somehow i get over there and fall on the statue and it gets smushed and i apologize to dom and shes rlly worked up. then im in a second store that i went to in order to try and find the plain balloons. my brother and someone else are with me and it looks like a souvenir shop with everything lining the walls and its super cramped. theres a mexican woman with a little kid running the shop. i get a text from jamie asking me if i can take my brother over to the place at 3:09 to hang out with her little brother. the lady is mad at us. some stuff happens eventually i leave but i accidentally take the ladys boy with me we slide through the jungle and arrive but jamies brother isnt there. i get a call and she says 6:09 now. then i get a call from the mexican lady that the time for her boy to arrive was also 6:09. then im in a vacation like shack and theres a tiny kitchen and im overwhelmed. i have my suitcase. at first im doing stuff outside with my now normal age older brother and anna and malorie are there. they were the popular girls in middle school they are cooking at the kitchen. some stuff happens i dont remember then i run into the room and lock the door. i start moving desks and stuff around theres two twin bed blue beddings and a dresser thats teal and brown at the same time. i get a knock on the door and its michael and he gives me some eggs and asks for me to leave soon. i eat and leave the room anna and malorie are still in the kitchen and i leave. theres like a patio that looks like a hallway and theres a hot guy with really long dreads wrapped in a bun and someone tells me hes jamies boyfriend. he is super talented at something. theres another guy with long black hair whos also talented. i think it was at some type of game. then i dont remember any more and i wake up.
11:06 i check my messages. sam and reanna are sending me deepfake images of ma, lisa rinna, and larry king singing to different songs. ace texts asking me if augustina has responded. my mom texts me happy wednesday. i respond to ace sam and reanna.
11:07 i go to instagram and post sam’s meme to mentos then i go back and end up posting reannas memes too. then i check messages and i have one from reanna and one from ace. its another deepfake and ace sends me a nge meme. i respond to both. i check my private and ace sent a danganronpa art post. i like fhat too then i take a selfie for my private.
11:08 i text back my mom that im going to see the church then i catch up on obey me.
11:12 my mom texts again but i dont look yet. i start writing down my morning and dream. i also check my mail and tom has sent the address of the church and says the meet time is now one. i got a notification from waze earlier that says i need to leave at 11:58. i fart a lot. i have to poop
11:44 i finish typing everything down. it took a lot for me to remember my dream. i check my text from mama.
11:45 my mom texted me to enjoy going to the church. sam sends me another deepfake video now of a faceapp image of marina abramovic smilling. i react to my mom and keysmash for sam. i need to get up. i split my lip again. it stings.
11:46 i check instagram and look at the deepfake videos. theyre insane.
11:47 i sanitize my hands get up sanitize again go to change slippers go to bathroom change slippers use phone edge to flip switch. i use toilet paper to open the lid it take a little cuz it gets stuck but then i open it and throw the toilet paper in. i go and wash my hands ten seconds no ritual then i sit down.
11:48 i go #1 and #2. i don’t check instagram cuz im stressed.
11:50 i get up and wipe a bunch of times. i use my nonwipe hand to grab toilet paper and wipe down the sink then more toilet paper again to flush and i throw it in. i go wash my hands ten seconds no ritual then i brush my teeth.
11:52 i finish and rinse my mouth and wash my face. i was my hands fast. im worried im running late so my brain doesn’t over think. i grab my grey contacts and solution from the cabinet and wash my hands fast then i put my contacts in. i close and put them away and i grab my phone and leave. i tell myself im going to hand sanitize right away so it doesn’t matter if i wash.
11:55 i use my shirt hem to open the door and change slippers and i go to my room set my phone down but then remember my hand sanitizer is still on the kitchen table. i run out and sanitize my hands
11:56 i go back to my room and change slippers and get dressed. i dont worry about germs from the clothes. i sanitize my hands by my bed once im done
11:58 i get a notif from waze that it’s time to leave if i want to arrive at the church by 12:30. i start to do my makeup
12:06 i finish my makeup. i somehow got it done superfast eyeliner and all. i get up and go grab my wallet and keys and sanitize my hands. i change slippers but remember my mask so i change again grab mask and check how i look in the mirror with my makeup and mask on. the. i go and grab my shoes and my sanitizer then go back and change slippers.
12:07 i go to the printer and grab my payslip that i printed out last night. i run around trying to find mail with my name on it but we’ve thrown all the spam mail away. i go back to my room dont change slippers
12:08 i cant find mail with my name on it. i notice a packing slip from a package and tear it out then cut it out so it looks better
12:09 i sanitize my hands then grab everything and take it to the back door down the hallways. i say bye to mimi but then remember i have to put on my shoes.
12:13 i finish putting on my shoes. they take a while to put on because i have to lace them up. i sanitize my hands and grab everything and take it down the stairs and to the car.
12:14 i get to my car and toss everything. i pull up waze and get everything situation
12:16 i leave. waze says ill get there at 12:46 which is perfect. when i exit the alley i sanitize my hands
12:21 i stop at a red light sanitize my hands. i start playing ag cook and sanitize again. luckily my bluetooth starts the moment i click spotify and i go right back to waze. i chew gum
12:23 waze redirects me to the 5 instead of the 110
12:31 i sing to the end has no end. i make mental note of the time
12:37 it starts raining. i make mental note of the time. dj every night comes on and i feel happiness.
12:44 i arrive. i park successfully right by the church. i wait a few minutes
12:46 i see erin arrive. i follow after her. its still drizzling. i throw my gum on the street because i dont have a tissue. these logs are just seeing me become a shittier and shittier person
12:47 we enter the church. i see the screens and know its a done deal. i want them so bad. michael erin tiffany and tom are there, talking to the church guys.
12:48 michael erin tiffany and i walk around. the church people show us different rooms
1:00~ griffin arrives and renzel arrives. edgar arrives. cameron arrives a few minutes later. i talk abt getting the vaccine
1:17 i check instagram. augustina has not said yes or not but instead has simply likes the image
1:18 i text ace. i am losing my mind. allegra arrives
1:20 jackie and leor arrive. we talk about his injured leg a bit. we start to walk around again. i hang out with cameron and renzel
1:30~ i ask about the screens. they said they can be two channel and synced up if needed. theyre perfect. i want the pulpit too. erin wants the baptismal font. renzel wants the bridal room. jackie wants the walls on the side. griffin wants outside. allegra wants the area by the end of the hall. i dont think anyone else specified but leor wants the grooms room i think. jackie plaid the organ and piano a bit snd the church guys played the piano.
1:50~ we finish. we chat in the garden area a bit. i ask about what the screens are usually used for. they say its usually for congressional singing or scripture if teaching sunday school or reading passages and stuff like that. they say its for “whenever they want everyone to see something at the same time.” its PERFECT
2:00~ we go to edgar’s studio. i chat with tom outside and update him about the treatment program. we figure out that maybe ill get a lunch break at around noon and i can hop in then for a few minutes. we talk about the website and my ideas about whether or not we should have an opening ig live. i say no and a faculty walkthrough later would be better
2:05~ we enter edgar’s studio with everyone. tom asks him the same question and he agrees with me. he also says we should have the opening thursday night most likely so more professors can make it
2:08 we walk outside. the rain finally stopped. its griffin michael cameron erin and i. griffin wants to eat but i probably have to get going so i say no. we talk about the vaccine. griffin got it cuz he’s a lifeguard and michael got it cuz he works at a tutoring center. i tell erin about how easy it was to get an appointment. she’s gonna do it too since she was a student worker last year.
2:12 we all say bye and i head to my car. i walk in sanitize my hands and start writing
2:18 i text wendy about augustina
2:24 i text spencer about augustina. i just need people to tell me that i have hope lmao. i also text augustina a bit about gynoids.
2:27 spencer and i plan when we watch hetalia with knox tonight. i realize that and i text cam that i cant come over today since elisa was coming too.
2:47 i have to go drive. i text back ace and cam and react to spencers message
2:48 i drive. it says eta 3:13. i turn on bluetooth before i head out
2:49 bluetooth connects and ag cook plays. i sanitize my hands
2:57 i stay on the 210 on accident. waze redirects me and says new time 3:17. time keeps going down as i drive
3:12 i get off freeway and sanitize
3:14 i arrive. they send me to park so i can walk up
3:19 i park. i write down me driving fast.
3:20 i sanirize and exit. i dont take my gloves cuz for some reason i feel like they would intrude
3:21 i walk to the vaccine site. this is 5:25me being drunk and writing everything down. i go down a flight of stairs to the 1st floor where they ask to see my appointment qr code. they just look at the time instead.
3:23 they sit me down with two people. one is playing a match-3 game. they ask for my id and nothing else. they write down on a card and send me down a line. they also give me a gold paper band to wear on my wrist.
3:24 then send me to aisle 3. i walk down and wait one minute
3:24 theres so many army people. the uniforms are kind of sexy. 9:29 me is writing this. they sit me down and ask which arm. i forget my rights and lefts and ask which side i should get if im right handed. they say left. i sit down and they put a bandaid on and then leave it loose then inject me then put the bandaid on and have me walk to check out. they write s time on my wristband
3:25 i stand then and walk down. there rows of seats. the line to get the vaccine had seats so i assume its a line so i sit down. i check instagram and text ace.
3:30 i realize it is not a line. i get up and go to the checkout desk. he writes a new date on my card and says to wait until the time on my wristband, which is 3:45. i sit down and text ace some more. we are talking about how they hung out with one of the girls they are talking to today.
3:44 i say fuck it and leave. i go to go down the stairs and back to my car
3:46 before i leave i text cam if i can come over
3:48 i leave. i sanitize and reverse but i reverse the wrong way and the car trying to exit waves at me. i wave back in apology. i go as fast as i can and exit
3:50 im at the crosswalk to exit again. i open spotify and ag cook plays. i set the destination for home.
4:04 i check my messages at vermont at 24th when i exit the freeway. cam says i can come over. i message yes quickly then stop texting. i dont like to text and drive. i sanitize my hands
4:08 i arrive home and park on the street near my house. i finally go and text cam that im home and just need a few minutes to take my meds. i sanitize
4:09 i go into my house. mimi and sam are there. im on the high of being outside and getting my vaccine so i dont take off my shoes. i set down my papers on the table because i think cam will text me right away - she said her meeting would end in five minutes. bacon is over too. he’s part of her household. i talk to mimi that she should get her vaccine and i sanitize my hands. i go on instagram and catch up with my messages but i cant remember who i text. this is 9:48pm me because i was wholly irresponsible and wasn’t typing. wait i didnt text anyone i was trying to catch up on everything starting at me arriving at the church
4:11 i take off my shoes since cam hasn’t texted and i go to my room. mimi and sam have photobombed it. mimi gave me a harrison ford wall and im ecstatic. sam pasted a bunch of memes everywhere and mimi pasted f1 memes. im so happy. i plug my phone in to charge and hang out in my room a bit. elisa hasn’t texted me so i assume she’s not coming. i go on instagram and post to mentos
4:38 i text cam if i can come over. she says yes. i get excited and decide to put my shoes away. instead of lacing them up i am going to do the socks and sandals route
4:42 i pull up to cams. i try and parallel park in one place but its too tight for me to be comfortable. i make a u-turn and find another spot and its still tight and im a bit far from the curb but i give up. im lazy and i’ll be a piece of shit. i sanitize my hands and exit and grab my gloves.
4:45 i text cam that i’m here
4:47 she comes out and opens the door. we say hi and walk down the hall to her apartment.
4:48 we enter. bacon is there and i hug him ! we are talking about these sparkling wine cans cam’s friend is designing. we talk about design choices. we talk about youth pastors and churches cuz i was talking about my thesis. we talk about all getting the first dose of our vaccines
4:56 i tell elisa im working on my thesis. i say im still at the church
5:00 bacon has to join a zoom meeting. cam and i talk about everything and nothing. we might live together after we graduate. i tell her about augustina and she ships it. she likes taylor but she thinks augustina is so hot so she likes augustina more.
5:02 i text spencer that i’m working on my thesis. im a piece of shit but i need in person interaction so bad that i prioritized this over a zoom call im sorry spencer. bacon lights a joint. i am not in a state to drive home either. i text elisa too
5:04 elisa says its ok. i feel terrible but im crossed as hell. elisa’s parents are visiting so she has to quarantine for a week but after that we will reconvene for stickers
5:14 we decide to watch crazy stupid love. bacon has never seen it before. we order bacon meatball pizza and garlic knots
5:21 ace asks if augustina has given me a more definite answer. i say no. i talk with cam some more about the situation. bacon went to the bathroom and then left his meeting so now we r all talking about how i am a straggot
5:58 its kind of a blur we’ve just been talking about how we’d fuck both steve carrell and ryan gosling. emma stone too. we just keep thirsting in every scene. i text spencer that i cant do it tonight. i also remember that i have an essay due tomorrow oops. so i really CANT do tonight. i went to the bathroom at one point and didnt worry about anything. cam also has ocd and i trust her cleaning
6:14 pizza arrives. bacon goes to get it. we smoke more and chow down. i have three slices and four garlic knots. cam pours me a glass of wine. we talk about diversity in los angeles and orange county and usc diversity initiatives.
6:30~ bacon has to go and we say bye. cam and i keep watching
6:50 cam sends me a meme to send to augustina. she doesnt respond
7:00~ we finish ? not sure. cam and i decide to watch more girlfriends.
7:27 ace sends me a tiktok. its danganronpa and i love it. girfriends is an insane show
this is all kind of a blur. cam pours us more wine. after this i switch to water. ive had about two glasses in total including the canned wine and i know to stop so i can drive later. i plan to wait a while before i drive
8:32 still buzzed
9:20 i leave. i tell cam i text her when i get back. we talk about going to brunch in pastel crop tops like in the girlfriends intro.
9:25 arrive home. park perfectly. put on my slippers and move my sandals to the front door like they belong. ( i park in the backyard and go up the stairs to the hallway to get in ) i see mimi and say hi and sanitize my hands. i go to my room and change clothes no fear put on pajamas and new shirt.
9:26 i go to use the bathroom. i am far more sober than i think, it’s quite truly just that i’ve worn my contacts for too long and my eyes have difficulty focusing. no rituals but change slippers.
9:27 i type out the past several hours
9:37 i pee finally. haven’t been focusing on that
9:39 i get up and wipe the seat with toilet paper and i use more toilet paper to flush but i use my wipe hand this time. i wash my hands no ritual. i take off my contacts. i see three flies and my brain freaks.
9:40 i exit the bathroom change slippers. i put on my glasses. i AM pretty sober. i just had my contacts in for too long and my eyes hurt.
9:47 i check instagram while i type. i see another fly. augustina is painting a gynoid. i like her so much.
10:08 i finish typing. i texted cam about my essay. ace asked if i would play iphone games with them and i said yes. finally caught up typing i must say that my memory is Amazing.
10:14 i lose in word hunt once cuz i dont get the rules. i win the next round with double their points. i play a round of 8 ball. aces turn now.
10:18 i win the next round of word hunt. now that I understand the rules it’s so much fun. i win the next several rounds of Word Hunt. I’ve also been texting ulu about augustina cuz she replied to me post about her on my close friends story
10:38 i text ace that i’m going to work on my essay. i text cam too since i was telling her about it. i sanitize and sit down and write
11:16 i text ace about how dramatic my essay is. i sanitize
11:36 i sanitize
11:47 i sanitize
11:59 ace texts me that theyre worried their pills are stuck in their throat.