12:13 i see ace’s text and respond. i help them calm down and breathe. im writing my conclusion

12:21 i sanitize and start crying

12:23 i sanitize

12:24 i finish. i wrote about how this who sims idea was me thinking on the spot when i didnt realize i had to have a topic already in julia’s class, and how that project and my ocd both happened on the same timeline and how my ocd got out of control. i talk about how this is the first time i’ve truly felt reflected in my sim, watching it do these weird mopping and cooking loops and failing to function properly. we are both lost and need help. i am happy to have my sim with me. he is me and i am it. i have fully projected into that dumb little game that i own way too many expansion packs for. i go back to texting ace. i sanitize twice

12:26 i keep texting ace to calm them down. their pills finally go down and they feel safe again. im glad

12:27 i download and submit my essay. it’s so dramatic but it’s fun to write that way. i keep texting ace about my essay as i sanitize my hands

12:40 ace and i pause talking for a sec. i take this time to sanitize and go outside to get water.

12:41 i get water no gloves just shirt hem. mimi’s out there. i sit down and start talking to her. she’s doing work for her scenic design class and hates it. i help her decide the pros and cons of staying in the class, and she realizes how many cons there are. i see her trying to paint these tiny little lines with tape and it’s past 12:30 and she says she was going to stay up three more hours. i told her to take care of herself.

12:52 i play more word hunt with ace. mimi and i talk about the experience of dropping classes and transcripts and Ws on them. we talk about how we are both perfectionistic and are always so determined to see something to the end that we will beat ourselves into the ground to finish something that we started. we talk about how there’s only five people in her scenic painting class and how she should break the news of her dropping. i say to just send a well thought out and polite email that explains the situation.

12:55 i send back all the rounds of word hunt ace sent me. mimi and i talk about plans after graduation and she tells me about the networking she’s doing and how she wants to learn jujitsu. one of the roadies she talks to was telling her about how men will be too grabby and stuff, and mimi wants a way to protect herself. i think it’s a great idea especially because mimi is super dedicated to working out. she’s the only one in the house. we also talk about how we are burned out and how we need a break and how useless wellness days are.

1:10 i play more word hunt with ace. mimi and i talk about her learning spanish. i talk about my own experiences with the language and tell her that people are happy to help her, and that so many people in LA are bilingual that spanglish is common and if she doesnt know words she can speak in english and people can help her out.

1:12 i lose to ace the first time. we were playing anagrams. i get more water and fill the pitcher in the sink using the back of my hand. i fight the urge to sanitize and keep talking with mimi.

1:20 i talk about dropping after effects. mimi thinks its a good idea. we talk about how scenic painting was gonna make her do a self portrait too but she would rather do the one for her actual painting class. i talk to her about colors and warm and cool tones and being looser with underpaintings. she’s super excited to try it all out. i’m so excited for her !!!!

1:26 i go to the bathroom to brush my teeth. i cant remember if i peed or not but i did change slippers. i dont think i peed. i washed my face after i brushed and washed my hands ten seconds no ritual.

1:27 i head back out and get more water with my shirt hem. i go to my room and take my lamictal and risperdal then come outside again.

1:28 i wonder how wendy is doing. i walk over and i talk with wendy in her room with mimi. she’s so overworked. the show she’s working on starts tomorrow and theyre making her do end credits, edit and render videos all tonight, and she also has a midterm essay to write. i try and help walk through the steps of making the end credits and tell her it will be easy. she’s lucky that she has a pc and a laptop because her laptop can render while she uses her pc to write her midterm

1:34 i go back to my room. i check instagram and play more word hunt and anagrams with ace.

1:50  i check my mail and see a message that ren venmo requested me for the tattoo and cam requested me for pizza money. i go to my checking account and pull money from my savings since i transferred a bunch at the beginning of the month. i go to venmo and pay ren and cam.

1:52 i see andy sent me another email about becoming a discovery scholar. i say fuck it let’s do it. i start composing an email to jennifer about her writing my letter

1:54 i hear sam and wendy talk outside. both of them are so tired. everyone is working so hard and i feel like i’m not doing enough. i had a fun day today and everyone else was working. i got crossed today too. im gonna be working hard during the treatment program and im gonna work hard tomorrow. i also cant fucking use my laptop that much without wanting to collapse and i keep fucking forgetting that. my rooms a mess too.

1:55 i go talk with sam and wendy outside. we talk about whether wendy should go to bed or not. i say to try but maybe stay up since she just downed another energy drink. i dont want her to not be able to sleep. if she slept she’d have to get up early and i don’t think she has the energy to do that right now. sam and i talk about burger king and how we should abolish women. we wish a happy womens month to angelmami7.

2:00 i go back to my room and get in bed. i changed my slippers before i walked to my bed.

2:02 i send email to jennifer. i check instagram and i sit there for a bit. im tired

2:10 i message ace to wait a second on the next round of word hunt because i’m typing down these messages

2:34 i finally catch up on the entire day. my hips hurt from the rain and my arm is sore.

2:39 i play back ace all the games. ive only lost to them once. i love word games.

2:40 i set alarms for ten and eleven. im so tired i have to present my midterm tomorrow. gnite

2:41 i just remembered i taught cam how to twerk while we watched crazy stupid love. she said i should make a class for people that got no booty like us.

2:54 my hips so much. i google and a side effect of the vaccine is muscle soreness. all of my legs are sore. it hurts so much.

9:16 i wake up. my hips hurt still so i stretch them. i even get up and do the frog poss. i fart.

9:20 i text back augustina. she sent me memes about prince harry being a beta male. i realize i didn’t dream. probably because of drinking and smoking yesterday.

10:00 i wake up press snooze

10:08 i wake up stop alarm. i get call from rogers. maria asks me about the email she just sent

10:11 i look at my email. apparently i have a meeting at 11am today. i call maria back like she asked in her voicemail in order to confirm i got it but the guy who answers says to save any questions for the meeting.

10:21 i check instagram. i fart. sam tuvesson and cameron both liked the messages i sent. ulu did too

10:23 i sit up in bed and write down my morning. i split my lip again

10:26 i check my email again

10:27 i check instagram. i respond to reanna’s comment

10:28 i take a selfie but i yawn. i delete it. i wanted to see how my hair looked

10:29 i check messages. ace texted that they fell asleep and send me their move in 8 ball. i say its ok and send a move back. spencer reacted to a message i sent about hanging out this weekend. im so excited

10:31 i text spencer about hanging sunday. i open obey me

10:39 i catch up on obey me

10:42 i screenshot parts of the meme augustina sent me. i text her back.

10:43 i check my mail again. i need to email darius back and write an artist statement for the discovery scholar

10:45 i google what the most legible font is and what apple’s font is. apple uses helvetica neue. i screenshot my notes app to look at colors. i peel off a chunk of my lip scab and bite at it.

10:46 wendy and sam are talking outside. wendy has an assignment to write. she thinks about drinking a la croix but then says maybe she should drink alcohol to wake up. i love wendy’s logic

10:48 i check the damage to my lip. its not terrible just the same split red line down the middle

10:50 i check instagram and mentos. i rub my eye

10:53 i post a meme to mentos that augustina sent me. she is my meme dealer. mimi announces outside that she’s calling her professor to drop her class. i think sam just gave wendy adderall. she’s worried about drinking coffee with it cuz she already is sipping on a mug but he says it’s fine.

10:57 i post another meme to mentos. ace sends a meme to the group chat and i reply. it’s about death note

10:58 i sanitize three times and go to close my door. i sanitize again when i get back. i use my sock that i took off last night to bring my laptop closer to me and to open it up. i sanitize

11:00 i go to the email and try to activate microsoft teams. it takes a while but i finally log on and meet maria for the first time face to face. i sanitize between every click and every thirty seconds or so. I noticed my skin becoming red and stinging from the sanitizer. This has never happened before. did the vaccine make my skin more sensitive or is it just a coincidence ?

11:05 we discuss my schedule for tomorrow. I notice that lunch is at twelve noon and I ask Maria if that’s the case for every day. She says she is unsure. If that’s the case then I can go check into my afternoon classes for a bit each day which would be amazing

11:07 I have internet issues. maria is frozen on my screen and I am frozen on hers. She asks me if I can move closer to my router and I tell her that it’s in the middle of my very public living room so I cannot. I change my wifi source and it causes an error with teams

11:08 i make it back. she’s unfrozen now

11:10 we finish the meeting. We also discuss the financial agreement form and I say that I have not received it. She says she will check with Mardet. She tells me about their five minutes policy - if I am late after five minutes she calls me, and if I don’t respond she calls my emergency contact. Maria asks if I have any more questions and I say no. When I leave the meeting I immediately text ace about the irritation

11:11 ace texts back that it might just be the dryness. They send me their move in 8 ball and i send a move back. I text spencer confirming that sunday is a good day to hang out. im also supposed to call with augustina this weekend but I’ll push that back. I’m somehow very social right now.

11:12 i go onto instagram and post twice to mentos illness. I try and download microsoft teams but it’s weird about me creating a new account so I give up for now

11:13 i get up sanitizeand go outside. I use my shirt hem to open the door then run back to sanitize my hands then change slippers and exit. mimi is excited and announces to me that she quit her scenic design class. I do a little dance. I check in with wendy and luckily she got some sleep last night. I tell them about my hand sanitizer issue and wendy says it might be my hand sanitizer

11:14 i enter my bathroom i use the edge of my phone to turn on the light and my wrist to close the door. i use toilet paper to open the seat and i go wash my hands ten seconds no ritual. i sit down

11:15 i pee

11:16 i get up wipe use nonwipe hand to wipe down seat with toilet paper and then more toilet paper to flush and throw it in. I go to the sink and wash ten seconds no ritual. I want to wash more but my hands are stinging so bad it’s painful.

11:17 I brush my teeth. It takes a bit of effort now to get the toothpaste out of the tube but I’m scared to go into a store. I don’t brush for two minutes today, just one. I wash my face then wash my hands ten seconds no ritual

11:18 i use my shirt hem to open the door and leave. wendy says she has hand sanitizer i can use and i tell her i’m just going to go put on gloves. Mimi says her grandmother keeps sending her this antibacterial soap that dries her hands out and I say maybe okeefe’s working hands would help her. I go to my room

11:19 i change slippers go sanitize then go put on gloves. I sanitize and go back to my red chair. I put on my face oil. I didn’t put on contacts today but I do a simple dark eyeshadow so I look more dead inside.

11:30 i finish. i took my time this morning. i put on one dangly earring then go sanitize my hands. at some point i took off my bedroom slippers but I don’t notice until later.

11:31 i sanitize again and get onto my bed. I try to type on my phone with my gloves but it’s so hard

11:32 i turn on my laptop and type in my password. i sanitize

11:33 I check my mail. i sanitize. maria sent me an email that Mardet had sent it to my mom but got no response. I text my mom and she says she never received an email. I email maria back about the issue I sanitize

11:33 i start typing notes. I sanitize

11:35 i sanitize

11:36 kon sends us 8 ball in the groupchat

11:37 i sanitize

11:39 i sanitize

11:42 i sanitize

11:44 there’s a fruit fly by me. I’m being stalked by flies. I freak out and sanitize

11:49 i sanitize. my skin stings through the gloves

11:50 i fart. my stomach is upset from the pizza and from not eating after that

11:52 i sanitize. I move my laptop to get more comfy then sanitize again

11:53 i sanitize

11:54 i sanitize

11:55 i sanitize twice. my skin stings still what the hell

11:57 i finish catching up. i sanitize. technology is especially hard for me today. im already exhausted. how will I do six hours tomorrow ? i sanitize. i open blackboard and i sanitize

11:58 i move back against my headboard to get comfy and sanitize twice. i open up the zoom link and check photobooth that the lighting is ok. my stomach keeps growling

11:59 i pull up my youtube video

12:00 i sanitize and join class. i wait for the meeting to start

12:01 i feel myself falling asleep. im gonna pass out after class probably but ill try and eat and take my meds first. i che

12:02 the class starts and i join. im so tired

12:03 i sanitize. julia is taking roll. me and e are the most fuckable people in the class

12:04 julia gives me control to show my piece.

12:05 i paste the link into the chat and give a blurb about surveilling my sim and surveilling myself. e keeps getting kicked out because of her internet so I text her the link just in case

12:06 E makes it back to class. she’s already seen the video so it’s all good.

12:07 i check messages and Gia sent me dave and karkat ship art. its so cute im gonna cry. i want a love like that

12:10 spencer is texting me about their cubicle art. they did a corporate art version of austria and it looks so fucking epic. they plan on buying a rei figurine for their cubicle too. im so hyped to see it.

12:12 i fart. ace sends their move in 8 ball but i cant be on my phone when my gloves are on. *muffled mic voice* new ocd rule dropped *drops mic*

12:13 kon texts about among us tonight. i fart. i say hell yes to kon. i keep farting i probably have to poop. i sanitize twice

12:14 jamie has finished watching my video. im worried everyone is going to hate it. julia looks pensive.

12:15 i turn my camera back on. everyones cameras are on. im terrified. they all look so serious. what if they hate it. what if i get slammed and i have nothing to base my other critiques on. what if its the worst video in the class. theyre all staring at me. im so stressed

12:16 julia starts talking. jonah comments that its so good. i sanitize my hands. isa starts talking. she also has ocd. she almost made me cry because of how much she understood the experience. anais also has ocd based on trauma and related a lot, and etta has a brother with severe ocd. hearing isa talk about touching items and having to handwash almost made me cry.

12:29 i sanitize my hands

12:33 i sanitize my hands. we stop talking about my piece and julia ends with some really important points about me sleeping and the ideas of accomplishing something in quarantine.

12:35 i sanitize. i watc etta’s video its insane i love it.

12:38 i see a fly on the top of my laptop. i freak out

12:44 i sanitize. i talk about how the exaggeration makes it so good to make fun of a sorority. this is the first sorority video ive ever liked lmao. i think it’s amazing.

12:51 i check my messages. e and i text about jonah blasting bjork in the backround is insane. ace has texted me their 8 ball move. spencer texts me back about corporate art. gia reacts to my message about davekat. i want to log into instagram and follow etta. she’s so fucking cool. her and isa are my two favorite people in this class

12:55 etta talks about hte part where she writes about her issues with an extreme eating disorder on the sorority account and realizing that she’s putting all of this emotional effort into something that’s harming her

12:57 i sanitize. jessica’s desert x and light and space images r killing me. she includes olafur ellision however u spell in light and space, which confuses me.

12:58 oh man she’s in newport beach. i know exactly where she is talking about with crystal cove. i love the data analysis of the sunset

1:00 i sanitize

1:02 i sanitize

1:05 i scratch my ear. i sanitize

1:10 i sanitize. i talk about being from orange county and taking the sunset for granted

1:11 i check my messages. my hands sting but i sanitize again

1:12 i check my email. roski sent me job opportunities. i get distracted and then look up those then find cam’s email from creative circle and look up jobs there too.

1:25 sofia shares her video. i watch but then get distracted looking up jobs and i had to go back and rewinds a minute

1:31 i finish and go back to the class. we are silent for a minute. im trying to think

1:33 it’s an insane topic about the interment camps and the connection to apple. i speak about how i liked that point and wanted there to be more questions rather than solutions.

1:34 i see the fly again. i start to see other flies around me

1:36 i talk again about whether or not the woman that was streaming at the beginning was using an iphone. i sanitize.

1:38 i sanitize

1:40 kon sends ace and i attack on titan tiktoks and their move in eight ball.

1:41 i look at the job opportunity again from roski. fuck it i’ll apply

1:42 i check my mail. i planned to email maria back but i got distracted with tom’s email about show titles. my hips hurt so bad. i sanitize

1:45 i leave class. im so tired

1:46 i write down show titles in tom’s google doc. i sanitize

1:50 i finish writing down titles. i check my resume and edit it to fit the guidelines of the stealth venture labs position

2:24 i send out my application. i accidentally send it twice oops

2:25 i reply to Maria about the financial agreement. i make a profile on creative circle

2:27 i ask cam a question about making a profile on creative circle. i update my linkedin

2:34 i finish applying to creative circle

2:35 i look up how to change my name with USC. i need to change my drivers license. i might have to visit the dmv and get my license changed finally to make this happen. i gotta make this happen !

2:41 i finish up all my emails and busy work. im so hungry

2:42 i sanitize three times


2:43 i take off my gloves and sanitize and switch to my phone. i scroll on my laptop quickly to double check time stamps then i sanitize again. i have a text from my dad

2:45 i forgot to tell them that my new treatment start date is tomorrow. he congratulated me on starting today so i informed him and said thank you. i sanitize

2:46 i check instagram and post to mentos

2:47 my dad says hes proud of me. i start crying ugly. i dont want to let him down. i will get betfer i promise. ill be stronger. i dont want to be a shame to my family i dont wanf to be a burden. i love them so much i dont want them to suffer snymore

2:48 i walk to my slippers put them on then i change slippers and go outside my room. i take my purple gloves, my water glass, and my hand sanitizer with me. i put my phone and water on the pile of napkins so they dont touch the table

2:50 im crying thinking about isa’s comments in class. i want to hug her. i feel so alone. im ugly crying in the middle of my kitchen

2:52 i sanitize then put on my purple gloves and sanitize again.

2:53 i take out my leftover ramen. i take a bite out of the noodles then i put them and the pork in the microwave bowl. i add in the broth but it’s the last of it so it’s really thick and gelatinous. i sanitize and take the last of the broth and add some water and swish it around then pour that in

2:54 wendy walks in. her midterm is now due at midnight instead of 4pm. i tell her to go relax and take a break. she deserves one ! she says shes been crying all day. i point at my crying face and say she isnt alone. she laughs.

2:55 i put ramen in microwave and set for three minutes. im too tired to care about the bottom and the lid keeps the top safe

2:58 it finishes. i sanitize and grab it out of the microwave. i use the lid like a dish to protect the bowl from the table. i sanitize and go get chopsticks from the drawer and sanitize again then take off my gloves and sanitize.

2:59 i stir the noodles with my chopsticks and give it a minute to cool. i hear mimi and wendy in the hallway.

3:00 talk with mimi about her bun. we also talk about her job opportunity but she’s worried things will open up and she might work at the forum again and will only have this event staff job for a month before she quits. she’s worried about that because her dad tells her not to do that since he used his network to help find her this job. he also doesn’t understand that mimi quitting the design class doesn’t mean she can’t handle a job, and that the responsibilities are completely different. i tell her things probably wont open up for a while and i know that she needs the job. i tell her to go for it

3:08 i finish my ramen check insta

:317 go falk wendy

3:26 check insta

3:28 post to insta crying. sam comes out with his cd and unpacks it. it’s from pc music

3:29 update mail on phone. nothing new. my arm is so sore

3:30 i zone the fuck out

3:31 i sanitize put on my gloves and sanitize again. i throw the containers into the trash and put one container to soak. i wash my hands full ritual count to ten down to one each round to the count. i scrub palms for ten interlace fingers then palms again then the backs of my hands. then palms fingers palms again. then i go one count down.

3:33 i wash my chopsticks and do it again. i stop at 9 because the water freaks me out. i go dry off with a paper towel and sanitize again then take off my gloves and sanitize again

3:36 i sit down and check instagram. ace and i play a lot more word hunt but i tell them im tired and will play them later. im so tired. i zone out

3:42 i decide to make brownies

3:50 in oven

4:01 done cleaning washing dishes hand sanitize

4:04 hands burning hot. hand sanitizer hurts. sanitize again

4:05 make meme for mentos about my hands burning

4:06 change slippers go pee sit right down. fly lands on phone i want to cry. my hands feel so warm

4:07 i pee

4:08 the flies freak me out so i get up wipe use nonwipe hand to wipe down seat with toilet paper then use more toilet paper to flush and throw it in. i wash my hands five seconds because i see a fly and i freak out. i can feel them on my skin. my hands sting when i wash them

4:09 i change slippers and walk out i sanitize twice. i think my hands are dry or something but they sting

4:10 i sanitize i want it clean i want it off. theyre not dry they feel soft i dont know why it hurts maybe if i sanitize more it wont hurt

4:11 i check instagram

4:12 sanitize it hurts it hurts. mimi texts group chat. her test is negative.

4:13 start typing and filling in holes of my notes

4:16 wendy texts groupchat. she thinks it would be fun if we decorated our rooms and did a bar crawl to each themed room. i dont want people in my room but i say its ok. i do think its cute

4:17 i share spencer’s and my picrew characters to my story. i keep typing

4:21 i scratch my ear

4:22 i scratch my forehead and ears

4:24 i check instagram.

4:25 i go on safari and save pictures of howl from howls moving castle

4:27 i thirstpost to mentos illness. i have to keep the brand going. i have a reputation to uphold. i zone out

5:29 milner texts the group that their cousin is coming over. we said family is fine for covid so it fits within our guidelines

4:30 ace texts me. they move in 8 ball and send a danganronpa tiktok. i send back a joke about yasuhiro being a stoner. i play the next round and i win at 8 ball

4:34 i take brownies out of oven they are done. i feel like im going to pass out. im so drained. energy using laptop today gone. gone gone gone.

4:35 ace sends me an attack on titan tiktok. levi is so fucking fine. i text that back to make sure ace hates me.

4:36 i say levi is to eren in age what reigen is to mob. ace agrees

4:37 i tell ace i cant talk about reigen anymore without breaking lent. sam sends me a meme about the milk cat

4:39 i post the meme to mentos. i repost an obese leprosy meme and i tag them. i message back dannah on my main

4:50 been playing word hunt anagrams word bites with ace. so tired

4:53 go to room with water take methylfolate change slippers grab new bottle of effexor take effexor change slipper go outside

4:54 i get brownie use fork and napkin. eat brownie. text ace that im tired

4:58 eat more brownie. go fridge use napkin open door drink milk sanitize throw away napkin put fork by sink

4:59 change slippers bring sanitizer by bed sanitize. try and touch laptop with glove cant. sanitize. text ace im joining zoom from phone.

5:01 join class no camera so tired. cant focus on class. done with essays for writ 340 now just individual meetings

5:06 taylor text. madison plays something in class

5:07 taylor asks why no camera. i say im tired and on my phone for zoom today. madison starts reading

5:09 its a love story. its beautifully written but im thinking of a komahina fanfiction and now im thinking of komaeda and hajime and its so funn

5:10 i text ace about it. we both want a love like theirs. we talk about how down bad we are. i think of augustina and how i want to stroke her back while we hug. i text ace about it. down ATROCIOUS

5:13 madison stops reading. it was beautiful. i feel more awake now that my laptop is closed. never mind. so sleepy

5:18 i text taylor while thinking of augustina. i. hate myself. i hate myself.

5:21 augustina is texting me i wanna kms

5:24 texting taylor and augustina at the same time. i like augustina so much. we text about memes and their mbti types

5:25 i rub my nose

5:32 augustina says her friend tells her to join hinge. i feel shitty. we talk about being incels. and sex. i feel like she really doesnt think of me that way at all. i make a joke about getting a strap on.

5:38 augustina and i are still texting. we r gonna talk about my thesis tonight. im excited. i miss her voice. im gonna kms

5:40 i get up and put vaseline on my lips. theyre so dry

5:43 wendy breaks her diet to eat a brownie. i laugh. i go on instagram. mimi threatens to tell theo that wendy broke her diet

5:49 taylor is presenting but im texting augustina. gonna kms

5:51 taylor is talking about the patriarchy. im tired. ive been texting augustina about tumblr sexymen

6:00 augustina reads me to filth about tumblr sexymen and entps. i feel beaten down.

6:08 i send a text that implies augustina is more important than taylor. she ignores it and continues the convo. she doesnt like me. ill get over it now.

6:11 i leave class because sam yells about his grandmas care package arrives. he runs to my doorway and shows me his dipping mustards. i also lose my shit. i change slippers and walk out for a bit. i left class to do this lmao

6:25 i know augustina doesnt like me. it sucks but im glad i reminded myself. i just need to snap out of it. maybe ill download hinge

6:32 i scratch my nose. still textinf augustina. going back and forth between her and instagram

6:36 i remember i had a nightmare. i saw what the creature on my back was. its under a car and when i look at it it clacks it s teeth and rattles towards me. its yellow and dingy and looks like a failed puppet. its streaked with dirty and its plastic surface is torn. its eyes are boring into you. when i close my eyes i see it. he is begind me. i sanitize. i feel so alone. i feel so alone.


8:36 ive been on a call with augustina. having too much fun to type down things. thank you for understanding !!

8:43 i’m playing the sims and she’s playing smash. this is really fun. i really like her as a friend. i’m so sorry for being so creepy augustina. you’re an amazing friend


8:51 i sanitize my hands. gonna try and keep track again

8:57 augustina is going to make a new picrew to catch up with the esports discord. i rub my face and sanitize

9:02 augustina wins her smash game. the sims weather channel shows a sims abs and i screenshot and send to her

9:08 i sanitize. augustina and i are laugh

9:09 a fly floats by me and i freak out

9:11 i sanitize. augustina and i talk about the brown esports discord. i text sam about my call

9:21 i post to mentos. i sanitize

9:43 my mom texts me. she tried calling me but i’m still on a call with augustina so i text her instead. she paid rogers and i am all ready to start tomorrow

9:44 i tell my mom im doing good. i think i am doing well i rub my nose and sanitize

9:50 i tell augustina ill brb. i mute and put on my living area slippers and run to the bathroom. i change slippers and turn the light on with my bare hand and use toilet paper to open the lid

9:51 i go #1 and 2.

9:52 i get up wipe and get a new roll of toilet paper when i run out. i don’t wipe down the seat or use toilet paper to flush. i turn and wash my hands ten seconds no ritual.

9:53 use shirt hem to open door change slippers i turn off light with my bare hands then run to my room

9:54 i take off slippers and go to my bed and sanitize. i unmute and tell augustina im back. she’s excited im back.

9:58 my mom texts me that she loves me. i say i love you too back. i sanitize

10:11 augustina and i hang up. we called for three and a half hours. we agree to talk more. i sanitize. i feel content with being her friend.

10:12 i text cam about the call. i sanitize. ace texts me about higurashi discourse and i reply

10:20 i adjust my position so my laptop is on my lap and my back is restinf against the wall. i sanitize

10:23 i rub and scratch my face and sanitize my hands. i see the fly and i feel flies crawling all over me. i sanitize again

10:50 dr levy texts me. she also thinks the program started today. i tell her im doing better

10:51 i check instagram

10:55 i check instagram. mentos gained a lot of followers today. i text ace about gekkan shoujo. im hungry but i cant eat. energy for laptop not cooking.

10:56 i check mail. so tired. crashing after call with augustina. might play sims til sim wake up then sleep. sanitize

11:04 i scratch my head and rub my chin and sanitize

11:05 i check instagram

11:06 i say “ i desperately want to kill myself “ out loud. unsure if i believe it. i sanitize

11:07 i save and exit out of the sims for today. i got through another day and that’s what matters. ill try and get through more this weekend. it’s all about the grind. when i touch my lips i got sanitizer on my lips and the cut stings. i move my laptop to the side of my bed and i sanitize. im so tired

11:08 i get up and go get water outside to take my pills. sam is there and eating peas with friend onions. his grilled cheese is in the panini press. i talk about being on a call for three and a half hours and he says its sus. i say we are just friends and i mean it. he doubts me. i drink a full glass then get more water and go to my room

11:09 i sanitize my hands then take my risperdal and lamictal. i go outside to talk with sam more about his grilled cheese. he is playing pokemon and we agree that it’s a gay game. we also agree that the sims is a gay game. he has thoughts to say but doesn’t say it about me and augustina calling. i wonder what he’s thinking. we talk about how good mimi’s painting is. sam says the panini press has changed his life.

11:12 i remember i have to do a release of information form for dr davis and i run to my room i take off my living room slippers dont put on my room slippers and leap onto my bed and grab my laptop. i sanitize and open it and check the email. i look at the file and sanitize. i need the phone number for dr davis to contact and i don’t have it yet.

11:13 i email janet the secretary that i will send her the completed form tomorrow once i have the number. i try and get comfy for bed but i have to pee. i get up and go put on my slippers and go outside. i check instagram as i walk

11:14 sam has his grilled cheese on a plate   he is very excited and says rhe future of grilled cheese is happening in the kitchen. i say ive decided im a sigma male and go into the bathroom. i use my phone to turn on the light and change slippers

11:15 i sit down and pee

11:16 i get up and wipe. i dont remember if i used toilet paper to flush or not.

11:17 i wash my hands ten seconds no ritual. i cant brush my teeth because cant touch toothbrush for some reason. also cant wash face

11:18 i step out of the bathroom using my shirt hem to open the door and change slippers. i use the edge of my phone to turn off the light. mimi and sam are there.

11:19 i go look at mimi’s painting. the books are so well done. she tells me she stippled them. it was an excellent choice. sam talks about how he used shredded cheese for his grilled cheese and mimi and i say that’s normal. he is sad. mimi talks about the time she thought she was revolutionary for dipping her grilled cheese into her tomato soup and i broke it to her that it was normal too. i talk to them about the movie chef with jon favreau

11:21 mimi and sam talk about going on a bike ride. all of a sudden everything feels like the sims and my brain freaks. i say goodnight and go to bed.

11:21 i turn off the light with my phone and change slippers and get into bed. i sanitize and start typing out the past several minutes

11:27 mimi turns off the outside light

11:35 augustina texts. she reacted to my message about my sim

11:45 i catch up but go back to 3pm cuz i missed a few details

11:54 i fully catch up. i set alarms for 7:50 8:00 and 8:10

11:55 km gonna try and sleep but im terrified of the creature. goodnighr