12:03 i text ace. i pick my nose and sanitize my hands. i take a hit from my pen and blow smoke rings.

12:05 another hit. im high and ive calmed down a lot. thank god

12:06 i sanitize, plug my laptop in, and sanitize again. i sanitize two more times

12:07 i start the sims again and sanitize again

12:12 i sanitize. i think i will continue sims tomorrow

12:13 i close my laptop and sanitize my hands. i put it to the side of my bed to charge and then i sanitize my hands again

12:14 i get under the cover of my bed and get comfortable

12:15 i sanitize my hands

12:23 i set my alarm for 10:35am and turn off my light. i sanitize my hands n get wayyy under the covers

12:29 i finish playing obey me for the night

12:56 i finally cum from masturbating. i sanitize my hands

1:05 on instagram sleep sleepy gnite

1:29 big eureka moment for my thesis

1:32 i text sam about my thesis

1:33 i go on instagram and make a meme and post to mentos

1:45 i email my professors about my thesis. i feel manic lmao but it wont last long

1:48 i start playing flow

2:13 i pause from playing flow to make a meme to post to mentos

2:19 im gonna try and sleep again

2:25 i cant sleep i post a meme to mentos illness

2:26 i check ball smasher and collect my idle cash

2:27 i play flow

2:31 i pause to make a meme for mentos illness

2:43 i pause flow to make another meme for mentos illness. milner is watching avatar the last airbender and i have things i want to Say

2:46 ill try n sleep again

2:55 i fail i try again

3:00 i cant remember if the call tomorrow is 10 or 11 so i set another earlier alarm just in case

3:06 fucking help i cant sleep im gonna try closing my door i think milner plsying avatar is NOT helping

3:08 i sanitize my hands, close my door, and sanitize again and get back in my bed. i try again

3:11 another big brain moment

3:13 i text sam again about my thesis

3:15 i post to mentos illness

3:39 i beat 14x14 perfectly on flow. 63/100 achievements

4:16 i cant sleep. have an idea for my surveillance class midterm

4:17 i go on instagram. time to try and sleep again

8:48 k wake up

9:45 i wake up again

9:52 i catch up on obey me and check instagram. on a downward spiral reposted my meme which is dope

9:53 i get a spam call that i dont answer

9:54 i check my email. sherin has responded to my thesis email i sent in the middle of the night

9:55 i check my messages and then reply to ace and kon

10:00 i play flow and pause to respond to ace

10:01 i play more flow

10:02 i fart

10:06 i beat the 9x9 part of the next pack in flow. my appointment is confirmed 11 because i havent gotten a call so i am going to sleep again

10:15 i text ace and kon

10:23 i post two memes to mentos then text ace and kon again

10:28 i pick at the hair stuck in my nail polish. i might fix it rn my

10:30 i sanitize twice then go to change underwear because i threw off my bottoms last night while trying to fall asleep

10:31 i sanitize again while putting on my bottoms, move my jacket off my clean laundry, sanitize again, put on my bottoms, sanitize again, then take off my shirt and put on my sweatshirt

10:32 i sanitize again and go to my restroom but sam is using it so i have to wait

10:33 i talk to sam. he hasnt read my messages about my thesis but he will soon

10:34 i use the restroom. i go #1 and 2

10:35 i check instagram

10:36 i get off the toilet and go wash my hands

10:37 i brush my teeth

10:39 the dust is bothering me so i take a paper towel and clean the sink. i move the toothbrushes to the shelf and quickly wash my hands after. when i move the toothbrushes to the shelf i notice that the shelf is also dusty.

10:40 i wash my hands quickly and move the soap to the shelf. i wash my hands again and clean the sink with cleaner i use three paper towels.

10:41 i clean the toilet using two paper towels

10:42 i move items off the shelf but i notice the other shelf is dirty too. i wash my hands quickly and move everything to the first shelf and clean the second shelf with one paper towel

10:43 i dont wash my hands but i pick everything up without using my fingertips and move it onto the second shelf. i use one big paper towel to clean the shelf and the top of the back of the toilet

10:44 i wash my hands to a count of ten no ritual

10:45 i write it all down

10:50 i use toilet cleaner and scrub

10:52 i use a piece of paper towel to lower the toilet seat. i wash my hands quickly and use vaseline on my lips they are very dry

10:53 i floss

10:54 i finish flossing. my floss container fell on the ground so i use a piece of toilet paper to pick it up. i consider throwing it away but instead i wash it with soap and then wash my hands with soap

10:55 i try and throw the toilet paper away but it falls on my foot and now my foot is contaminated i have to go sanitize it

10:57 i use my sweatshirt sleeve to open the door and i change outof my bathroom shoes to my living area shoes and walk on my tiptoes so my foot doesnt touch the inside of the slipper

10:58 i sanitize my foot and sanitize my hands. everything is ok

11:00

11:01 rogers calls for my assessment

11:02 they ask for my name and pronouns and if ive had any symptoms for covid 19. i say my test has been negative.

11:03 they ask how i was referred. i say my therapists name. they ask why im doing the screening and i respond

11:05 we talk about suicide

12:08 i couldnt talk and type at the same time but we finish the call. we talked about everything. i am exhausted. i sanitize my hands

12:11 i join my art 362 class from zoom on my phone

12:14 i check instagram

12:19 i catch up on my texts i text sam about my thesis, kon and ace, and emily mast about the teaser video

12:20 i go back to zoom

12:21 i cant focus at all. i leave zoom and go back to texting sam. emily understands about my ocd and we agree to postpone the project

12:22 i post to mentos illness the memes sam sent. i send a meme to sam

12:23 i sanitize. they are talking about the reading that i couldn’t do today in class

12:24 i play obey me

12:25 i sanitize

12:26 i try and speak but zoom mutes me and she moves ahead

12:27 i sanitize again. im so stressed about zoom muting me

12:30 i manage to speak and i sanitize again

12:31 a classmate mentions ted bundy and dawg he is right beside me i feel him standing beside my bed. its the dumbest thought but he’s literally right there and he’s gonna kill me lmao

12:32 i play obey me and watch ads to get more AP

12:36 i speak again. i sanitize again

12:39 i catch up on obey me. i sanitize again

12:40 i update dr levy on the screening

12:42 i post to mentos illness. i return to zoom

12:43 i notice that my hand sanitizer and handwashing is discoloring my nail polish

12:44 i text dr levy then go back to zoom. i sanitize again

12:45 i sanitize and plug my phone in. i respond to dr levy and then go back to zoom. i sanitize again

12:46 i am jumping back and forth between zoom and texting dr levy. i sanitize before going back to zoom

12:47 i sanitize again and get up to paint my nails while on zoom

12:48 theres no tape in my room so i sanitize and go out into the hall to look for tape but i cant find any. i sanitize when i get back to my room

12:50 i text dr levy. i open and close my closet door

12:51 i sanitize again

12:52 i try and use white out tape but it didnt work on my nail. i do poppers

12:53 i feel GREAT. i go back to zoom and paint my nails. taylor texted me and im scared to look

12:56 i finish painting my left hand. the zoom video is lagging a lot. i look at taylors text and dr levys new text

12:57 its just about class. im sad. i go back to zoom

1:02 i finish my right hand and move back to my bed. i cant sanitize yet

1:04 i post photos of my nails on my private instagram and plug my phone in and go back to zoom

1:05 maybe ill buy a small brush to use for my nails because its so hard to do things with the big brushes

1:07 i respond to a comment on mentos illness. im having so much trouble concentrating on zoom i keep leaving and coming back

1:09 julia stops the anna dervere smith video so we can watch other artworks. it was really good even though i couldnt focus well

1:11 taylor starts a bit more of a conversation and i text back. jonah is talking in class. he needs to just shut up.

1:13 i text taylor. i go back to zoom

1:14 i sanitize my palms but am careful with my fingers

1:15 i open flow. julia is going to play a new piece

1:17 julia starts playing the video but its not the piece she wanted to show. we take a five minute break and i keep playing flow

1:20 the break ends. i sanitize my hands

1:21 she plays the video of angela davis

1:22 i pause flow and start watching. it is not in english and i want to read the subtitles

1:29 i sanitize

1:30 i check instagram and messages and go back to zoom. nothing new. i hear my roommates all out in the living area and it stresses me out

1:31 i sanitize

1:32 i go on instagram for a while then go back to zoom.

1:33 i sanitize. my skin is growing dry. julia finishes the video

1:36 ive been on instagram. julia starts a new video. i go back to zoom

1:38 i get up and change from my bedroom slippers to my living area slippers. without going into the bathroom, i pick up my face oil and vaseline from my bag on the ground and go back to my room. i use both and then sanitize my hands and then get back into bed

1:40 i go back to zoom

1:41 i get comfy under my covers and sanitize my right hand

1:42 i sanitize my left hand. i rub my palms together

1:43 i notice a new tiny scratch on my phone screen. yikes

1:45 i scratch my head

1:47 the video ends

1:48 i check instagram and text taylor back. im super hungry

1:51 i try and talk with julia but i am booted from the room and it wont let me back in.

1:52 i send her an email

1:53 i respond to my dads texts about my art

1:54 i check my email to see if julia responded. she responded and is making a meeting now.

2:11 i finish meeting with julia. i updated her on my situation. she is actually amazing im so grateful to have had her as a professor in my last semester

2:16 i post to mentos illness

2:17 i plug my phone in to charge and sanitize my hands

2:21 i make a meme and post to mentos. i text sam and my dad and sanitize my hands

2:24 i check instagram. i need to take my meds

2:25 i get rid of some message notifications. i text back ace and kon

2:26 i get up i sanitize my hands. i switch from my bedroom shoes to my living area shoes. i grab my water glass and my purple gloves. i put the glass down on the kitchen table, put the gloves on and open the fridge and pour water into my glass making sure it doesnt touch anything. i put it away and go put my gloves on my desk and sanitize my hands. i grab the water cup and bring it back and sanitize my hands.

2:27 i head to the bathroom but there is a kitchen cabinet open so i close it with my elbow and then sanitize my hands

2:28 i go to the bathroom switch from my indoor shoes to my bathroom shoes and use toilet paper to lift the lid. i pee and then use toilet paper to flush. i use my right hand to pull up my pants and do my handwashing ritual, adding in cleaning my nails to counts of ten and then five since i am not wearing gloves

2:29 i go out change shoes change shoes again, then sanitize my hands and the outside of my water glass. i take my meds and sanitize my hands again

2:30 i go back to my bed and sanitize my hands. i start writing everything down

2:38 i finish writing and respond to sam’s texts. my hands are very dry. i sanitize again

2:39 sam informs me that the osama bin laden porn collection has in fact been released. i am ecstatic. i sanitize my hands and open an ensure bottle to drink because i am too scared to use the kitchen

2:41 i post to mentos illness. i sanitize my hands and keep drinking my ensure

2:42 i get comfy under my covers

2:43 i rub my nose and catch up on obey me. i rub my nose again

2:44 i play more flow

2:45 i say out loud that i love myself. it feels genuine. i scratch my face where it itches

2:47 i scratch my nose and leg

2:53 i pause playing flow to respond to sam and ace. i scratch my head and cheek cuz it still itches and rub my eye

2:55 i check instagram. i pick my nose and sanitize my hands. i post to mentos illness

2:59 i scratch my side. im itchy rn for some reason ;(((

3:01 i drink more ensure. i scratch all over i am tired i think.

3:02 i set an alarm for 4:45pm goodnight

3:03 i film myself sleeping for class

4:35 i wake up turn off camera

4:36 i check instagram i woke up so suddenly im so disoriented

4:46 i make a meme of eren jaegar for ace and send it

4:47 i find a meme for elisa

4:49 i save more xbox live chats

4:51 i send a copypasta to augustina. i consider sending it to taylor but i told myself i wouldnt bother her

4:52 i post a bunch of memes to mentos illness. i have a shooting pain down my neck that started when i was napping and it hurts still.

4:56 i text ace and kon and respond to sam’s dm on twitter

4:59 i post the attack on titan memes kon is sending to mentos illness. i am a prolific poster today

5:02 i join class late. i turn my camera on. taylors so cute im fucking down BAD noooooooo

5:07 i check postmates cuz it said i had 40% off but i dont see it

5:10 i contemplate getting postmates. i sanitize my hands and check wescom

5:13 i text mama for my allowance and feel terrible about it. kon sends another attack on titan meme. i decide not to order postmates. prof scott is reading porn in class pretty much

5:15 i open instagram. damn this guy prof is reading about sounds like my fantasies of eren jaegar. i hear people screaming and arguing outside

5:16 i sanitize. i realize my hand is cramping because of me reaching awkwardly to pump with one hand

5:17 i transfer money to my savings instead of getting postmates. i go back to zoom briefly but hes still just reading aloud so i reply to ace and kon

5:19 i join zoom again cuz he stopped screensharing

5:30 hes screensharing again. im dissociating so badly. my left arm hurts so much from the hand sanitizer im such a wimp. im down so bad i gotta calm down

5:42 hes screensharing. i asked a question about the assignment he was describing earlier. its hard to document and pay attention because my camera is on with my phone

5:43 i sanitize my hands and text ace and kon about how down bad i am

5:46 i check instagram then go back to texting. he stopped screensharing for a bit but i stopped caring

5:53 i take a break from texting ace to check class. i have to video edit out the wazoo tomorrow lmao

5:54 i go back to zoom. i text ace

5:56 i realize taylor texted last in the convo earlier. i text her back and she responds right away im such an idiot.

5:57 the convo is already over. i go back to texting ace

5:58 we start reading out loud. im too scared to turn on my light so my room is super dark and i turned off my camera cuz you straight up couldnt see me

5:59 i text ace and kon more

6:01 i go to instagram

6:05 i go back on zoom

6:07 i briefly play obey me then rush back to class

6:10 i check my messages but i have no new ones. i go back to zoom

6:12 i try and drink more ensure but i realize i drank it all. i dont remember when i finished it.

6:13 i check instagram then check my texts then back to instagram

6:15 class ends and i leave

6:16 i turn on the light in my room. i sanitize before getting up and putting on my bedroom slippers

6:17 i drink my water glass before turning on the light. i sanitize my hands. i change slippers and go to the kitchen and stand there

6:18 i stretch

6:19 i grab my wine bottle using my sweatshirt sleeve and bring it to my room. i set it on my desk and change slippers.

6:20 i stand in the middle of my room

6:21 i sanitize my hands and put on a new pair of black gloves.

6:22 i get on my bed, sanitize my hands, and put my laptop on my bed and open it. i check my notes but it hasnt updated with icloud.

6:23 i take off my right glove to update this log.

6:26 milner asks me about the hair dye in their bathroom. i say its wendy’s ( it is ). milner says they will bug wendy about it and leaves my room.

6:27 i am going to play the sims again i will update this in a bit







8:17 i pur on my slippers and go to my closet ans grab a nutrition bar and change my slippers and go outside and eat it. wendy and theo are working out

8:18 i sanitize three times while talking to them

8:19 i sanitize one more time and bring my hand sanitizer into the kitchen with me. i feel faint

8:20 i sanitize

&:23 i sanitize again and get ready to make nuggets

8:27 i sanitize in between wvery step of putting the nuggets in the toaster. i chat with theo and wendy

8:29 i sit down and xht with theo while my nuggets coo

8:30 i sanitize

8:31 i sanitize

8:33 i text ace and kon

8:36 i check insta and sanitize

8:37 i text ace

8:39 i post to mentos and sanitize