8:43 wake up. check insta. med withdrawls. bo is asleep by my side. i think papa went to walk him this morning. i check instagram

8:47 check mail. i have to let 18th st know today. please get back to me other internships

8:49 bo stirs a bit. i sit up and pet him

8:53 i lay back down again. im thinking abt the internships. i need help drafting an email.

9:28 i was on instagram. i sit up. looking at reels again

9:47 was playing yhe unlock game again. go back to insta but close. planning a makeup look today

9:49 check messages. i had a weird dream but dont remember it well. just remember lauren from therapy was there and i was tweezing hairs that were growing from her cigarette. like a jason briggs piece.

9:51 jamie and i text abt mentos illness. i google nintendo switch family plan cuz elisa was telling me abt it

9:53 i make my bed put on pants go to bathroom sit down pee. i feel my legs squish

9:56 catch up in obey me




10:03 go downstairs get a concha eat a bit from a cuerno. sit down at island to eat

10:14 talked with mama. picked up food to bring home. talked abt internship. gonna wait til 1pm to see if i get any other emails

10:16 i check my mail. fuck. more internship emails but no offers. what do i tell frida ?!?!!!!

10:17 drive

11:06 arrive. it says my car key battery is low so i text papa

11:07 go inside. take off shoes put on slippers i say hi to sam he is eating in the kitchen. i put my food away and go to my room

11:08 i organize a bit. take off slippers when enter room

11:09 i grab the fruit snacks anan got me and go put them outside put on slippers. i put them in a bowl on the kitchen table. sam says hes making noodles

11:10 i go bqck to my room take off slippers and organize more. i get in a comfy position. im gonna do my makeup today

11:25 finish doing first part of tiktok. my face is so fat. i put on my slippers go outside

11:26 in bathroom typing down. told sam i was gonna curl my hair

1:44 i feel so fat so ugly i delete tiktok. my face is so fat its so fat. i look so fat. why am i so fat why isnt anyone elss this fat

1:56 crying really hard texting ace and kon. i feel so fat.

2:02 i take off my makeup. i feel better. im so fat. i need to lose weight. i need to lose weight. i just want to be skinny. all ive ever wanted is to be skinny. im going through. med withdrawls

2:23 call with mama i. bathroom. med withdrawls

2:25 took of contacts. body so shaky. decided to take 18th st

2:41 getting pita chips and closing bag when mama calls. i talk to her as i move my stuff to the beige couch

2:43 end call with mama. shes helping me with internship stuff.

2:45 turn on tv. sam comes out asks me what im doing i say hannibal. he asks me buress or lecter

2:47 i go and turn down volume manually

2:48 turn on hannibal eat pita

2:58 finish eating pita

3:01

3:32 playing save them all app

3:35 i get under my covers. i feel sick.

3:36 go on insta

3:40 try black board doesng work

3:42 chrck tinder. gonna masturbate wnd nap

8:36 wake up. long dream

8:38 i was with my mom going to usc shows we go to a mid sized theatre it was beige walls and burgundy seats. gabe abrams was there

8:39 milners ex girlfriend burned an entire hillside down on accident. their and their friends woke me up talking but its ok its early. now thehre talking abf american history.

8:40 dream we were at the theater and i was wearing a homemade tshirt and gabe asked me why i wore it. it was support for fhe show. there was a person there who looked kind of like ariann but they were in the corner of my eye. my mom was concerned and worries

8:43 milner is talking abt some really heavy stuff. not writing it down. ben wendel’s voice is so annoying

8:44 thats all i remember of that dream next drram i was walking south though an outside pathway staircase of an italian villa it curved slightly. there was a wall and open spaces no window glass but iron twisted rods and green ivy and potted plants on the side red and another color pink ? mainly green. i pass by a lot of students that i know are international.

i get in line and stand behind jackie facing north. the step in front of me that jackie is standing on is mirrored glass on top of the brown beige steps. the walls are beige stucco too.

we keep going until we enter a room inside it is large and octogonal with mirrors on some of the walls. there are older people not professors but with the same stature as professors

8:49 an unknown friend gets water from our brita. back to dream we curved around so we enter south from the stage right of the room there is also a small theater in the way back but the row of

professor people cuts it off. somehow the line teleports between the professors and jackie and i end up facing north stage left by the stage next to the kids playing. one has black hair and is playing with some sand castle toys but there is no sand. jackie bends down and plays with him. she talks with him but its gently laughing gibberish

there was a girl with long straight black hair in a low ponytail talking with the professors in front. they are like a panel of judges. theres a similar girl behind me. my hair isnt curled.

8:54 milner and ben are talking abt reading and how important it is but it sounds very elitist lol

8:55 dream next up is jackie she goes and talks. the walls are a dark brown beige color and the floor is big tiles of burgundy.

9:00 text new groupchat with roski ppl abt a hangout. they wanna do sunday i say cant do sunday all day cuz im seeing family but i might be able to stop for a little bit. i send renzel and camerons numbers. i text back wendys groupchat abt our photoshoot on the twelfth. i dont respond to any other texts yet

9:03 my dream is slipping away fuck then its my turn one person on the panel of judges is the woman that was on the panel for the symposium. we talk i laugh. they like me. i feel good. i exit stage left through a door near the back. it opens for me

then im outside and i see a commercial where theres a girl with black neck length hair and bangs. she is sitting on the ground its a big bathroom looking up at the camera she has on a black cropped bustier looking top. her lips are full. she has on black shorts or a skirt i cant tell. she says something to the camera. its on a big screen like the ones at universal citywalk

i look at a paper and it shows a list of everyone that was in the room. at the bottom was a few people that were winners from last year. its a sepia version of the layout i made for scramble. i see the girl. she was one of the winners last year. its a competition for students to become influencers. i look and i got to the next round. jackie got through specifically for hanging out with the kids. the girl behind me got in but not yhe girl in front

somehow i know i get through to the second round but then then dream changes

9:10 next dream but gonna check messages need break from typing

9:15 i text back jackie chat again and also augustina wendy sam ace and kon and ace individually. i sit up in bed. i forgot abt streaming with ace. im too tired to flesh out today yet maybe later tnite

9:16 last dream im in my backyard but theres grass and floor lights on a path around the pool. the house is slightly nicer idk how but it feels nicer.

9:17 also i did masturbate irl but i didnt cun i fell asleep. back to dream my brother is there. we are trying to install more floor lights. its nighttime. we go inside through the back doors and look out and turn them on but they flicker and falter. theres guys outside trying to fix them and two of them fall into the pool while trying to fix them. the lights look like the timers you used to get while waiting for a restaurant the ones that would light up when your table was ready

i go talk to them. they have on hats with sun guards on the back of their neck like the cloth. they had long sleeve shirts on and another shirt tied around their waist that floats up and bobs at the top

the pool is on the left side of the backyard i walk to the right side not stage right and into the grass. it literally is my backyard but with grass. i end up far into the grass and i talk to the guy working on a light there. he shows me and says we got the wrong lights. its a baseball cap

9:23 they move to the couch milner and their friends

9:24 back to dream its a blue baseball cap that has a rubbed band tying a rubber band ball underneath. another has a plastic thing rubber banded underneath. one looks like the low plastic soccer cones we would use the super flag ones its yellow and that also has a rubber banded thing

i suggest that i can go through and put in the rubber bands little prizes like mini blue and red rubix cubes and blue parachute guys. they dont get it and i repeat it again and they get it

9:26 i check messages but dont respond irl

9:27 dream. im not at a outside dinner table that we have with all the members from obey me its daytime not night. we are having lunch. satan is to the far right end, lucifer is two seats to the left, diavolo is by my left side, and theres a new character with grey wavy fluffy hair like a combo of solomon and satan to the left of satan. everyone else is there but those r specific seats i remember.

i share my idea as we eat. i say i can make a groupchat with everyone. diavolo is super excited about being invited to find all the toys. lucifer cautions me abt the idea. satan looks at me. the grey hair boy is about to cry. he looks like satan’s newest ur+ card

9:31 i hear sam cross through and go use the restroom

back to dream but first milner and ben and then friend complain abt texting

ok dream lucifer cautions me again and frowns. the mood is very uplifting though. the food is good. then a sepia toned drawing version of reigen comes and stands to my left staring grimly at me

9:33 sam complains abt his thesis presentation left. its very valid. he has to condense 54 pages of writing into 8 minutes of presentation not 30. he is leaving to work some more

9:34 back to dream reigen doesnt say anything but barbatos, sitting on the other side of diavolo, tells me to go with him. as i stand up i feel something sticky all over the seat of my pants. i am wearing my green knee length silky jumpsuit with skinny strap and a beige short sleeve cropped open jacket

9:36 milner talks abt cheating on their partners. ur not poly ur just a cheater. what the fuck thats not poly at all

9:37 back to dream i follow reigen. he is sitting on the left side of the table. i stand behind me. he stares at me and quietly whispers that his cum is all over the back of my pants.

then it changes to my brother sitting there chanting a very cryptic rhyme abt the cum on the back of my pants. i had it in my head but i forgot abt it as i typed. it had three lines. i wish i knew it. it had a very distinct rhythm four words four words longer phrase six ?

then i wake up

9:40 i finish typing my dream

9:48 i go on instagram. augustina called me cute i say ty. ariann responded to my selfie i say thank you. i text back ace and ace and kon and check mentos. i think i also texted ulu but cant remember

9:50 text ace saying im done typing just gotta pee. im hungry. i text back mast on hinge. we r planning a date on saturday

9:51 augustina heart reacts to my message and i check the notification. idk what to respond with

9:52 she just texted back

9:53 she sent me a picrew of her as a guy. she looks so cute n i say so. she sends me the picrew

9:55 she sends me another picrew of her as a guy

9:59 i finish my picrew n send to her. she heart reacts. i ask for the second one

10:00 i get up put on pj pants and get a mango chile. i eat it as i put on slippers and go to the bathroom i sit down pee and do the next picrew

10:06 i text sam abt the weird things milners friend is saying as i passed them to get to the bathroom. he was tryint to say what was and wasnt antisemitic n idk if hes jewish lmao

10:07 i pause and text ace. we decide to watch sabrina for the movie. apparently its so bad ifs good

10:08 i finish the picrew n send to her. i say i wish i looked like that and i wish my cheeks were gone. augustina says my cheeks r epic. i say thank u

10:09 i tell ace im gonna brush my teeth. i get up wipe flush was hands brush teeth

10:10 i finish and go back to my room. i say hi to milner as i walk past them and their friends. i go to my room take off slippers

10:11 i tell her abt mt panic attack today n she hopes i feel better. she says my makeup looked really good.

10:12 i look for my glasses. im worried i left them in the bathroom but i find them on my bed. i put them on

10:16 we talk abt video games and i say im gonna watch a movie with my friend on teleparty

10:17 i text ace one second im putting on face oil. i go do that. i sit in front of my bed and wait for texts on my laptop to load

10:18 i check my email. frida emailed back ! she wants my info to finish the process

10:20 i join the teleparty. ace is giving missy and them meds.

10:23 ace returns !

10:24 ace tellsme abt the movie on teleparty

10:40 finish catching up typing

10:41 watch movie more closely

10:45 frustrated that the charging cord i bought doesnt work. i need to get a new one.

10:52 the movie is so dumb but its scaring me

10:53 i text augustina abt it scaring me

11:01 was on instagram

11:03 the movie js less scary but im still on my phone to cope

11:19 i open save them all. i feel so out of it. i need to take my meds again i think.

11:25 playing save them qll. ace left the teleparty i pause movie then text them