7:40 wake up

7:49 obey me

8:00 dont get to all my battkes in time. i waste three potential battles. i shouldve set another alarm

8:04 email back julia. so tired

8:06 wendy walks past my room and says good morning

8:11 nap

8:20 alarm goes off feeling more refreshed. had vivid dream earlier but played obey me instead of writing down. had mini dream rn too

8:25 i pick up most of my room besides ghe makeup on my desk and make my bed. feels good

8:26 put on slippers walk to bathroom sit down pee

8:27 get up wipe flush wash hands brush teeth

8:28 finish wash face

9:29 exit bathroom go back to room take off slippers

8:30 sit down at desk

8:31 fill out check in form

8:32 join group

8:43 leave group

8:47 pick up makeup a bit

8:52 finish picking up desk

8:53 scratch my back

8:54 fart organize jewelry a bit more

8:55 scratch my belly. gonna get water

8:56 put on slippers take glass outside get water immediately drain it. trash can time

8:59 crack neck

9:00 finish 3 2 3 hands were burning but feel more peaceful now. gonna clean counter cuz i didnt last nighr n rheres flour all over it

9:02 i get cleaner from the closet n wipe down the counter. maybe i make sourdough bread today

9:03 check mail. sink time

9:06 finish 1 0 2. feeling good

9:09 making bread dough. shower time

9:12 finish 1 3. keep making bread. mimi came outside and i said good morning. she made her espresso and got yogurt from our fridge and sat down at the kitchen table

9:16 toilet time

9:20 finish 3 1. didnt put hands on face as a test

9:21 go to room take off slippers sit down on desk type

9:22 join meeting

9:32 end

934 on bed so tired gonna nap til 10

10/00. nap 10:30

10:30 wake up. go outside. sam exits the bayhroom and raps a song idk what song it is i check my bread dough.

10:33 trash

10:36 finish 3 4 0. gonna work thru lunch cuz i napped. wanna get at least 15 done. five done alrdy

10:39 sink

10:42 finish 1 2 0. sitting at table milner comes outside and wishes me good morning. they make coffee and ask me what my favorite childhood food is. i say dinosaur chicken nuggets. i was super picky as a kid so my mom would make me them every day and shove them in a thermos for me

10:43 milner makes cereal and goes back to their room

10:44 milner comes back with a sweatshirt on. they sit at the kitchen table with me and eat quietly. i relax a bit. convos r draining sometimes

10:45 shower. walk to bathroom

10:49 finish 3 2. i am cool calm collected today. having a good day now that im less stressed

10:52 toilet. was sitting on lid so i open it up

10:55 finish 2 3 2.5. i just feel uncomfy but not any distinct urges. maybe cuz im sleepy

10:56 check insta. close toilet lid and sit down

10:57 milner asks to squeeze past me so they can do their laundry. looks like im not doing dryer today lmao. i stand in the middle of the kitchen

10:58 trash

11:01 finish 3 4 0. touched something wet. milner made tea not coffee so my hands smell like tea. i sat on the grey couch in the living room to habituate

11:04 i text anan abt jacon sartorius on insta. they dont know who that is. i mssg back ace and kon abt a meme ace sent. sink time

11:08 finish 0 2 0. milner goes back to their room. i fart. on grey couch again

11:10 texting anan on insta abt them seeing my show friday. i refuse to have visits on saturday. that is my free day.

11:11 shower time

11:14 finish 3 0. sitting on toilet lid

11:17 taylor texts me i dont respond. augustina sends me a meme and i save it and post to mentos and check insta briefly. i text back augustina and text back ace who sent me a meme i also text dr levy

11:18 text dr levy some more. toilet seat time

11:22 finish 0 0 2. sit back down onto toilet lid

11:23 text dr levy abt meeting

11:25 text anan abt friday meetup. check insta feed. ag cook remix out. shower

11:28 finish 3 0. back in room slippers off got charger plugged in laptop at desk filling out exposure logs

11:32 update gonna do one more round of the final three

11:33 put on slippers go to bathroom toilet time

11:36 finish 1 2 0. wasnt distracted i just. somehow forgot.

11:38 texting the slack chat. matches r almost done. we need to figure out profile pics i have ppl asking me abt it

11:40 pause texting slack sink time

11:44 1 0 0. vibing. text slack some more. working on profile pic divs for search

11:47 trash can

11:50 3 4 0. touched something wet again. hate hate hate. but now i have 16 exposures done woo

11:51 go to bathroom sit down pee

11:53 poop

11:54 wipe flush wash hands. put a new toilet paper roll up. exit bathroom

11:55 get water

11:56 go to room take risperdal

11:57 get dressed put on deoderant. i feel fat i need to stop eating pasta

11:58 put on earrings

12:00 sit down at desk

12:02 join group

12:03 update exposures. dave is sending us the link to the headphones he owns

12:30 get distracted from group texting ace. hadestown is coming to los angeles. i say im taking us as a graduation gift. they protest but im not taking no for an answer. they always buy me food and got me hotpot for my graduation so now i get to do something for them !!!!!

12:34 stop texting back to group

12:48 startinf self compassion assignment

• think abt a time a close friend was going thru a bad time. what was your response
• ace sometimes has really bad days so i just talk with them through the problem. like when missy had health issues and a lump on her jaw ace was really worried. i just was with them and used words to say that we should wait for a doctor to guess rather than ruminate online, and to make an appointment tomorrow. i was very caring and just tried to let ace know that things would work out once they took missy to the vet

12:52 took a break to use insta. next prompt

• how do i respond to myself in bad situations ?
• it depends on ( 12:53 i yawned really big while on camera. i feel ugly ) what the situation is. i try and use kind words but especially if it’s about a failed project I beat myself up a lot and compare myself to my roommates that are getting a lot of work done and have jobs and stuff a lot of negative comparisons to others
• did i notice a difference ?
• yes, mainly because i never bring up other people when talking to someone going through a rough time because it minimizes their struggles. for me i bring it up in order to compare myself in a negative light. i also use harsher words towards myself
• please write down how you think things might change if you responded to yourself in the same way you typically respond to a close friend when you’re suffering
• i would probably hate myself a lot less. a lot of my issues are comparing myself to others, especially people online. i try to not do that anymore but body image is really really bad. if i treat myself kindly then i get mad at myself because then i gain weight. i need to be kinder to myself and appreciate the good things about me too.

1:02 end group join megn

1:10 finish talk about discharge and getting contact info. i hope that people contact me once they get out cuz everyone is so nice. i should mentjon that i wanna talk abt anime so christian knows

1:12 go on insta text anan and elisa. gonna do one last round for the non dryers then will come back do makeup

1:13 come outside put on slippers mimi is eating at table sam is ironing a shit on the iron board in the entryway. trash time

1:16 4 4 2. anxiety a bit up for some reason. mimi sam and i talk abt drinking water

1:17 talking abt high school and sam’s time at bronx science

1:18 sink time

1:21 1 0 0. sam and mimi r talking abt chicago vs la vs new york. sam has a lot of friends at uchicago

1:24 shower

1:27 finish 0 0. gonna do toilet right away

1:31 finish 0 1 2. email prof for writ 340 that im gonna be late / miss class

1:32 wash hands get contacfs

1:33 put in contacts walk back to room take off slippers. gonna do simple makeup

1:35 prof messages back says not to worry. i havent attended a class in weeks but somehow im graduating ! i love zoom

2:01 join group fill check out form

2:12 end group. will fill out forms on here later. go back to makeup and fix different things

2:22 finish makeup and then google fathomers. they are AWESOME

2:30 interview start

2:53 interview end. was awesome. second interview soon.  so excited !

2:54 i take photos for instagram

2:59 i take one that i like and post it to main. texting elisa ok insta about her coming over cuz the wifi is out at her apartment

3:02 she texts me on messages abt coming over. i’m busy organizing an email of research documents I’ve done to send to annie

3:20 i finally respond to her text. i text the roommate groupchat a heads up

3:21 i text sam. mimi refused to get the vaccine again. its so sus

3:21 she arrives. i get up from my desk to say hi and she goes to the living room. i go back to my room

3:25~ sam comes out of his room. i take my laptop and bring it out to work with both of them

we talk about sam working on his paper and elisa reaching the max of her hotspot data

3:30~ wendy comes back and walks in from the hall. she says hi to elisa

3:33 i send the email to annie of the research documents and of my thesis. i start screenshotting images for my visual novel again

3:36 i start packing up my things to leave. i go get all my electronics and grab shoes and whatnot. my mom texts me how im doing but i dont read it yet cuz im trying to pack up

3:40 i have everything packed up i say bye to sam and elisa and put on my shoes at the end of the hall. i walk to my car

3:42 organizing my stuff finally check messages

3:46 text back. also text back kevin cuz he said that he will be late cuz of traffic. i say no worries

3:47 text briefly that im gonna be driving. i start driving

4:36 i arrive. i get my stuff and get out of my car and walk over. why did i wear a sweater. its so warm

4:36 kevin texts me his eta

4:37 mike sees me and calls out to me. he was on a walk with his kids.

4:39 he goes to open the door for me

4:40 i head upstairs to plug in my laptop. mike turns on the air conditioner and leaves

4:41 plugging in my laptop. rushing. check messages and see kevin’s text. i hadn’t read it earlier so i thought he was saying he was here. so relieved. i text back

4:42 text back dr levy abt meeting. gonna do fri may seventh at 4pm

4:44 text anan on insta

4:45 check mail. start catching up day

5:04 finish typing gonna wait downstairs for kevin

5:07 take selfie for instagram to show that i live at the church now

5:08 sit down in the front

5:09 get a call from kevin. he is here. i see him and he walks up and i open the door for him

5:45 mike comes and say’s leaving and to close the door behind me i say sure

5:48 finish meeting with kevin pack up head downstairs. meeting went well ! he thought it was awesome and wants me to keep him updated on my work

5:49 downstairs sitting for a sec before drivinf home

5:51 someone exits the bathroom its kevin. he doesnt see me and walks out. thank god. im social’d out rn. wanna go home n collapse. all studio visits done !!

5:54 text ace and kon abt danganronpa. respond to dr levy abt meeting. i got her message confused but it makes sense now so i reply better

5:55 i exit the church and walk to my car. someone is skateboarding out here i sont want to make eye comtact

5:57 make it to my car turn it on. gonna check waze and play ag cook

6:34 arrive home. played asshole instead on loop. addicted to the song

6:35 walk in thru the hallway. elisa and gavin are here ! i say hi n go to my room

6:36 i change clothes. so tired. i was so warm in my sweater

6:38 go to baghroom take off contacts put on glasses

6:40 go sit down pee. type

6:42 realized i have to do this for a whole year. two months down ten to go

6:45 take bread and form into loaf. wendy comes in the kitchen and tells me abt the website to request extra tickets

6:51 i wash hands finish putting bread in container to proof go to lqptop

6:52 submit form. go wash hqnds better

6:54 text mama i put in a request. go wash my dishes but first text ace abt attack on titan cokehead aus

7:00 on insta

7:16 scrolled through calkearns’ account. ive been following for a while. he makes me want to paint more. im excited to paint more

7:21 went back on insta but paused to put bread in oven. so tired n hungry

7:23 went to fridge got cheese ate the last of my monterey jack. did a double take cuz i thought i had rice but i didnt. maybe ill make a tuna sandwich with fresh bread or just eat it with olive oil

7:24 open laptop gonna work on visual nobel. set alarm for 16 min. gonna drink more water. probably heat getting to me

7:36 was on insta. move to grey couch with laptop. start obey me

7:40 pause obey me cuz timer goes off. go get bread and take lid off pot. oven mitt falls on ground but i dont freak out i just pick it up

7:41 back on couch obey me

7:43 finish and set timer for 27 minutes

7:44 catch up typing

7:47 that was a lie Now im caught up on typing

7:48 text ace about love live

7:55 text ace and kon abt a fantasy where i have abs and levi ackerman snorts coke off of my stomach. gonna work out so this can be a true fantasy

7:58 texting slack gc. jack wants femboy tirebiter. he Has to be some type of gay

8:00 sam and i texting abt jack and his typo where he called femboy tirebiter sexy. SUS

8:02 i clean my glasses and open my laptop. exhausted for some reason

8:06 go to make new folder on imgur

8:10 timer rings get up go to kitchen

8:11 take out bread from pot and put it on rack by itself. go and clean up some dishes from shaping the loaf

8:16 finish get more water. im so hungry

8:17 i bring my water to the coffee table and sit on the grey couch. gonna text ace and kon more abt this cokehead levi au

8:20 texting ace and kon abt ace being alone at their apartment rn. they r worried abt paranoia and abt missy. i am talking thru diff situations with them to disprove them

8:21 timer rings. get bread

8:22 set bread down on cutting board. have togive it time enough to cool down a bit

8:23 back on grey couch gonna work on visual novel now thatbread is done. so tired might sleep early

8:25 adding new folders to library. i hear the oven so i go check and it’s still on. i turn it off. back to grey couch

8:43 get notif from slack text slack. things looking good for matches

8:53 was working check on instagram. message ariann who reacted to my story. took their fit quiz n shared it on mine

8:55 gonna get a slice of bread if its cooled enough

9:14 been eating bread with sam and wendy in the kitchen. sam brought out goat cheese. wendy is commandeering the pot i used for bread and is gonna make cauliflower

9:15 jamie arrives ! we talk abt me going to bed

9:17 listen to new tmg song

9:20 finisj. i like it