TUESDAY - MAY 11




12:02 its my scrqtch repair ! gonna try it tomorrow

12:04 i wrap up the cable that didn’t work and tie it back up

12:11 i stare at my hinge profile. cant believe im going on a date. been so long since ive been on a date

12:26 movie over

12:28 i say goodnight and leqve the teleparty. close laptop put to side of bed

12:30 open obey me

12:45 catch up on obey me

12:47 put useless cords away and into return bag. get up put on slippers go outside

12:48 go to bathroom sit down pee

12:49 get up wipe wipe seat flush wash hands. forgot to writ earlier that i put on T but i did. go back to room

12:50 take off slippers turn off light get in bed. sleep gnite




8:30 wake up check insta

8:32 off insta. i had a dream. movie playing in big gallery like spaced but it was wide and curved with an open wall it felt like a tunnel. i had my awards.

at one point i was waiting to get them.

another was outside withelisa by the outside fence of a park it was green chain link elisa leansd against it and played with a low branch from ths giant bush to her left. she looked bored. we talk about awards

my mom was there and dad and brother. prep for graduation. sam was mad because he didn’t get a medal he wanted. i presented something to a group

there was a clean porcelain toilet in a room.

maddie stites was there

9:55 a phone call wakes me up. random number

9:57 i check instagram and then mail

9:58 off app scroll aimlessly

10:03 check tinder hinge. mast and i r gonna meet up saturday one pm

10:05 watch twitter videos sam sent me. one is abt Jeremy fragrance the other is a tiktok. i text back qnd then text back jackie. shes worried abt wendy needing the iron i say dont worry wendy isnt home

10:06 i remember i have to take my final today

10:08 i text jackie again. remember i had a dream about havinf a studio visir in a forest town and driving up there but having to pick up kon and ace firsf. i drive to get them but then its mt dad driving us but then its a guy named trevor. there is a lot of rain from foggy skies as we drive down a mountain wirh reallg windy road like a straight zigzag and i open the window and get a face full of rain and i close it again ans yell abt how dumb i am. i want to sit in the front seat when we drive back to talk to trevor. its trevor paglan i want to date him.

we drive up a mountain now it sunny. we stop at a checkpoont with a yellow bar the machine is on the passenger side but somehow he presses it and the bar lifts and we keep driving

then we r there and its an overlook on the side of the mountain. a person in a blhe polo and khaki shorts is taking a photo in front of a bear statue but no cameraman she is just posing. we go inside but we always stay outside i never see interior during my visit. im having a visit with trevor and a woman. ir goes well.

its night we drive back i think. kon wants to watch a movie and asks us if she should watch ir at travis or adam’s house or someone else. he makes a post on insta abt it their phone is in dark mode.

kon and ace disappear from the back im with trevor he says nothing. i qm in the back but now wm in the passenger seat

then its me i think he dropped me off i drive back to the mountwin town alone. im inside the building in a bedroom. theres a guy there asking me to take a picture in front of q sign thqts being projected on info abt the state park. i realize we drove to a visitor center for q stqte pqrk. i try and help but hes covering the words and the projecter is getting the pic of light blue sky thin dadk tree branches green leaves criescrossing all over him. he opens some blinds to get the projector on those too but the letters dont move. he stretches his legs and shifts his weight back and forth. he says if i get a good photo of him he will do something for me

hes shirtless now. i have him get on the floor. there’s dirt there. i scoop some onto him. hes stomqch down resting on elbows looking at me. i try tqking photo but the dirst isnt sticking. i wet my hqnd with water and i put some on him wnd pour dirt on him. it sticks more but it’s hard to see cuz it matches his skin. i take photos as he looks at me. thats qll i remember

there was a random snippet when i fell back asleep of a young teenager with close cropped curly hair thqt looked like a wooden doll like pinocchio in shrek but button nose. he had a stick with a cartoon white gloved hand at the end pointing. he spun a wheel with a crank and it made the hand push out and in. he pokes my side and say another cryptic rhyme with the word “cry” in it. i cant remember the other words. hes laugbing as he says it.

10:26 i finish writing down my dream. i have to work out today and take my exam. im gonna sleep morea

10:31 i check my mail. the ring company had a cyber security breach. i go and check wescom. no weird purchases.

10:35 i get a notif from obey me and i click it

10:44 i finish catching up on obey me

10:53 i check hinge. someone new liked me. i match

10:56 i watch a video sam sent me and respond. its abr making spaghetti slop

10:57 i sit up in bed

10:58 i check fitbit. i slept for a little under nine hours. nice

11:22 reading james charles drama on twitter lmao. so fun

11:24 jon sent me photos from the show. i respond with an among us reference

11:26 go on instagram

11:35 text back augustina. she sent some memes n asked what movie i watched. i tell her about sabrina

11:40 post photo to private. augustina saw my date post n i feel like a piece of shit

11:42 i check mail. i have to send emails

11:43 i text papa back. he says congrats on the internship. i say thank you. i tell him the news about not beingable to room with cam until december

11:46 check hinge. i have a new like. idk. idk idk idk idk idk. just trying to give up on augustina liking me and telling myself theres no chance

11:50 email dr davis about scheduling an appointment

11:52 i check instagram

11:54 i text ace abt augustina seeing my story. i feel like im in high school

12:12 i play wordscapes

12:17 i check instagram and sit up in bed

12:20 i get up change into new underwear and workout shorts. i grab a water glass and some socks and go ohtside put on slippers

12:21 i say hi to milner. they are seating at the kitchen table listening to a dnd podcast. i go to the mail and check it. no honor cords yet.

12:22 i put my hummus away i left it out yesterday cuz i fell asleep.

12:23 i go to bathroom sit down pee ask abt honor cords to sam and then to groupchat

12:28 text sam not to worry abt jay

12:31 check insta

12:32 get up wipe flush wash hands brush teeth

12:35 finish. look at body in the mirror. hate myself less today. why is my face so fat ? i go outside grab my sock bring them to the end of the hallway

12:36 i go to my room dont take off slippers and grab the scratch repair kir

12:37 i go to the kitchen and grab a glass of water

12:38 back at end of hall put on shoes

12:55 i get some of the scratches out of my car. it looks like it worked on the small ones which is what i wanted ! just all the tiny scuffs. i know the bigger ones wont go away but if i can get some of the scrapes off ill be way happier. it just changed the color and thats all i needed

12:56 check insta. respond to q follower and agree rhat baby driver sucks

1:01 text jamie back. shes gonna put inuyasha on her cap. i say Yes and ask if i should put reigen. she says yes

1:05 i feel myself getting sunburned so i go inside. will work out when sun is lower in sky

1:06 take off shoes n put on slippers. go to kitchen wash hands. milner has moved to their room

1:10 i eat my concha over the sink

1:11 i take a few chugs of milk

1:14 i check instagram and share a post to my story

1:16 i mix together yogurt muesli and honey in a bowl at the counter and start eating

1:18 i finish my yogurt. milner comes out n asks if i mind them listening to a podcast. i say no i dont mind and milner sits down af the table with me and goes on their phone

1:30 was on insta get call from dr davis. go to room

1:46 end call. no medication changes. just watch out for weight and cholesterol

1:51 on insta get off to text back group abt honor cords

1:53 texting hamster group chat abt frogs. go to kitchen with laptop put on slippers set it down on table

2:01 i finish sweeping the kitchen, living area, and foyer. mimi comes out and says hi. she just got back. we talk abt watching the matrix tonight. i say let me do my final first

2:05 sit down and go on insta. message back wendy and send her the photos jon took

2:06 ace texts me. they say dont worry abt augustina and asks me abt what my date will be like

2:08 i go on hinge and look at mast’s profile. i think the date will go ok

2:09 i open insta and close it again. im worried im too fat for mast

2:10 someone knocks at the door i go to get it but milner says its bendel. they go get them

2:11 they mimi and milner stand in the kitchen and talk abt graduation

2:32i stqrt recording my video game

sam comes out of his room at one point to use the bathroom. he says hes off to give his thesis presentation

2:57 i finish recording and go on hinge. i message back cameron

2:58 i check messages on laptop. elisa sent me a reddit post abt catholicism

2:59 i export my video to 1080p as to not kill my laptop

3:01 mimi comes back

3:03 wendy comes back !!

3:40 finish my exam. i got a 70 and i got a 70 in the class according to my grade calculator but i’m unsure because my blackboard grade is way higher. we will see ! either way i passed ! i stopped caring about thqt class long ago

3:44 post to mentos about passing

3:47 text jamie abt passing

3:58 open premiere on laptop

3:59 text back augustina call her cute. she sends me puppy dog eye emoji and hearts. gonna kms. i text ace. they say its gay

4:11 finish editing video of game playthrough

4:18 catch up on obey me

4:20 text augustina abt graduating college

4:21 i go lay down on the grey couch

4:31 zoning out listening to sam give his thesis presentation

4:33 check email. my ticket request got approved! i go to my laptop at the table and get cams info n email it to her

4:37 i text cam that i got her a ticket. she’s hyped and so am i

4:40 check on my video export. 13 minutes. gonna do a mini workout in my room

4:41 go to room. take off slippers. pushups

4:42 nice. im getting stronger. five more

4:43 i did ten more !! plank time

4:44 finish. situps time

4:46 finish. crunches

4:47 finish. leg raises

4:49 finish. hip raises

4:50 finish. squats

4:51 finish. gonna see if its cooled down enough outside to work

4:52 put on slippers go to end of hallway put on shoes. mimi is in her room asking if im going to work out i say yes. she says she should do that too

4:53 i go check on the scratches. looks like it really did help out

4:55 ok gonna put stuff out in the shade n work out more

4:56 high knees

4:57 lunges

4:58 finish.

4:59 mountain climbers

5:00 finish. butterfly stretch while i catch my breath

5:01 burpees

5:02 finish leg extensions

5:04 finish. biceps

5:05 triceps

5:06 finish. open chest pull thing

5:07 finish. so tired. toe touch stretches

5:14 done stretching. im definitely more flexible !

6:48 took a break from typing. hungry but milner is making mac n cheese so im saving that. my shower went well ! feeling satisfied with my life. terrified of death. texting cam and ace. so tired. drinking water. put on T. gonna watch the race with mimi

6:55 im eating salad and closing tabs on my laptop. milner is making mac and cheese in the kitchen. im seated at the kitchen table. it smells so good. i check instagram and exit out

6:56 open up higurashi

6:57 milner asks me to check pasta. i nom one. not done yet. i go back to the kitchen table for a second

6:58 i taste another pasta. not done. i ask milner if i can have a pinch of shredded cheese they say yes. Score

6:59 seated at table again. eating salad

7:00 i start higurashi but mimi comes out and says she’s ready. i close it.

7:01 i check the pasta and taste it.

7:02 it’s done and i tell milner. they ask if i can drain it

7:03 i drain the pasta. chloe arrives and everyone says hi

7:05 hobo johnson starts playing on milners playlist and

7:06 mimi is gonna turn on the race. i feed milner a pasta and have one myself

7:07 i put my laptop on the ground and get a glass of water. i sit down on the beige couch as mimi puts on the race

7:08 we talk abt spoilers we heard

7:14 i screenrecord a meme and post to mentos. i check messages

7:17 go on hinge and respond to messages there

7:18 the race stqrts !

7:23 mimi asks if i want to start off with moscow mules. i say yes. i get a text from jackie

7:24 i text back jackie. she will come by in like an hour or two with our ironing board

7:27 i post a selfie on my priv that im feeling cute. milner and chloe sit at the kitchen table to talk

7:28 mimi brings me a mule she cautions me that the ginger beer is pretty tart. i take a sip and shes right

7:29 i check blackboard cuz i have a notif for an announcement.

7:39 mimis mom calls. she says dont pause so i keep wayching

7:41 check insta. it smells like mac n cheese. YUM

7:44 mimi and i thirst after toto. house of gold plays on milners playlist. takes me back

7:46 a knock at the door. its wendy’s friend she lets him inside. he says hi

7:47 they tell us how they are both going to a fancy pizzaria. i ask if its mozza but they say no

7:50 sam comes out of his room qnd asks whats up. i say Car and point at screen

7:51 we r all talking abt flirting

7:54 i go onto insta and post a meme to mentos

7:57 mimi and i talk abt british pronunciation

8:03 mimi and i talk abt gay people

8:05 wendy and her friends come out of her room. they look fancy.

8:10 i go get a serving of mac n cheese. wendy and her friends head put. i go sit down on the beige couch and eat. not bad

8:16 i go get a second serving. fatass

8:23 i check instagram

8:31 i check my email. final tomorrow at 2pm

8:33 i check instagram

8:37 jackie is here ! i get the board from her. we talk briefly

8:38 she leaves n i go to soak my dish in the kitchen sink. i grab a shell of mac n cheese and eat it and then eat some of the leftover shredded cheese. i jist want pasta no beschemel sauce. however u spell

8:39 sit down on beige couch again sip drink. type

8:41 finish typing

8:43 check fitbit for calories. cant eat more tonight anyways

8:49 check instagram. someone posted a soulja boy valentine meme. i think wbt sending it to augustina

8:50 ace texts me. they send a selfie they say theres a filter but i dont even notice. i tell them i didnt notice and that they look rlly andro. they say thanks

8:53 i ask if i should send soulja girl to augustina. they say yes

8:54 i send it and tell ace. hhhhhh

8:56 i text back mast on hinge abt our date

8:59 the convo is awful outside. milner is talking abt internet culture and doing so badly. a lot of mansplaining. i text sam complaining

9:09 i text mast on hinge some more

9:10 we start the matrix

9:11 i fart

9:16 i talk to mast about the departed

9:25 text Julián about rewatching new girl

9:27 i scratch my underarms and my side. trying not to touch my tattoo

9:29 i pick my nose

9:31 sam comes outside to use the bathroom

9:33 mimi gets up to use the bathroom. i go get my charger from my room. i come back and plug in my phone

9:34 i refill my water glass. sam comes out of the bathroom and serves himself mac and cheese. i take a noodle and eat it as i set my stuff down and sit on the beige couch again

9:36 i text back cameron on hinge

9:39 on insta. mimi gets my drink to refill it

9:42 reanna has a bart skampson sweatshirt i reply to it and then comment out loud. sam and i talk abt how Julián has. bart skampson on his room walls and how if sam had a hookup in julians room he would Leave

9:43 mimi presses play again and we start

9:51 we get through the matrix sex scene. its awful

9:54 texting Julián about bart ska-mpson

9:55 send screenshot of text to sam. sam responds laughing

9:58 i check mail and respond to bacons invite to an event on friday that i cant go. feel sad

10:07 i text back kon and ace on insta abt kon coming to visit

10:21 check insta text back ace and kon. sending rach other our love. i make an amongus meme out loud for the matrix mimi doesnt get it

10:27 i check insta again

10:36 check insta

10:58 i check insta and text back ace and kon. we all love each other so much

11:00 milner and chloe come bacj

11:02 wendy and her friend come back

11:08 talking abt high school musical the musical the series

11:09 wendys friend leaves

11:15 check insta. lotta conversation happening. high school musical james charles trisha paytas

11:26 wendy facetimes theo

11:28 i check mail and then post to insta on mentos. sirsnowy asked for tuesday dog and i delivered. theo is coming over

11:30 mimi starts the matrix again. we wre gonna do our best and try and finish

11:40 theo arrives!!

11:53 check insta. theo comes over and sits down on the red chair. sam is on the carseat on his phone